Page 18 of At My Worst

“Josh will be at the bar to watch over you. I love you, Pop,” I say as I lean in and kiss the top of his head.

I stand up and turn, making my way to his front door. He wasn’t always like this, and I wish he would be the man he once was one day, but I don’t know if that man is alive anymore. I grab the doorknob and turn it, walking out and shutting the door behind me.

I get into my truck and wipe my sweaty palms down my jeans. I don’t know why I am so damn nervous, but I am. I want to get to know her, and if that means taking the other stuff slower, I will.

Fucking her has become my new drug, but I want to know more. I want her to let me in, but I know she doesn’t trust me, not with her heart, at least. Her body, though, appears to have no issues with giving that to me.

I don’t mind working harder for her heart. I am a patient man, and I will break down her walls brick by brick if I have to.

I pull up to Bianca’s house, and she is waiting for me on her deck. She is wearing a white sundress with a cardigan, hiding her ink from me. Her hair is down and straightened.

I open the driver-side door and slide out, going around my truck and stopping at the passenger door. She stops for a moment as I open the door for her. She smiles as she slides inside, allowing me to shut the truck door. I quickly walk back to the driver’s side and get inside, closing the door and putting the truck in drive. I push down on the pedal and turn left towards the theater. I reach over, resting my hand on her knee.

She gently rests her hand on me, a simple gesture, but I will take it with her. She is uncomfortable with any kind of affection or words that doesn’t have to do with fucking, so her resting her hand on top of mine is a fucking win in my mind.

I pull into a parking spot in front of the theater and turn off the truck. She opens her door and slowly gets out, closing the door. I make my way out of the truck and around the front, stopping at her side. I reach down and grab her hand into mine. She slowly looks down at our hands and then looks up into my eyes.

“Is this okay?” I ask softly.

She smiles and gives me a gentle nod. We walk into the theater hand in hand. It is already filled with people getting their tickets and standing in line to get snacks. I wrap my arm around Bianca’s waist, pulling her against me. She rests her hand on my chest as we wait for our turn.

I look over to the left, and my heart sinks.

Fucking hell.

Brittany is standing a few feet away from us, and when she turns and locks eyes with me, I take a deep breath. She walked through the crowd and stopped in front of Bianca and me. I watch her look Bianca up and down, and I tighten my grip on her waist.

“It looks like you have found a new flavor, Alex,” Brittany says with amusement.

This fucking chick. She is the one that ripped my fucking heart out. She would say she loved me, then go out and fuck anyonewho knew me, and then she would come back begging me to take her back. And, of course, I did because I thought she loved me, but she didn’t know how to love anyone besides herself.

My heart races with her words, and Bianca stiffens against me. I place my hand on top of hers on my chest. Brittany’s eyes follow my movement, and then she looks at me.

“You never let me touch your chest,” she huffs.

“I know.”

“Why her?” She looks at Bianca like she is beneath her.

“She isn’t you,” I calmly say.

She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. “You always come back to me, Alex. I am patient. I can wait.”

“You will be waiting forever then, Brittany. I told you I am done playing your games.”

“We will see about that,” she says before looking at Bianca. “Don’t get too comfortable, honey,” she warns as she turns and walks back to her friends.

Of fucking course she had to be here right now, fucking stupid.

I lean down, resting my lips against Bianca’s ear. “Don’t worry about her, baby.”

“I’m not worried,” she says softly, slowing my heartbeat down just a little.

The line continues to move up.

“What can I get you?” The man asks with a smile.

“A soda and popcorn with butter, please,” I say, keeping my hand on top of Bianca’s.

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