Page 30 of Straight to Me

How is this possible?

His presence is intoxicating even through the closed window. He looks at me with a delayed reaction.

Slowly pulling down his sunglasses, those mesmerising eyes I picture every time I think about him, flicker with curiosity over a smile.

I roll down my window, my mouth slightly open in shock as the glass lowers between us. Time appears to have frozen. We just stare at one another, neither of us saying a word.

Before I can speak, the driver behind beeps his horn when the lights turn green, and I jump in my seat suddenly flustered. I pull away without stalling this time, but my tummy somersaults as I follow the satnav’s instructions, frantically wondering whether he’d follow.

I don’t see him in my mirrors or hear his bike as I park up for the interview I’ve all but forgotten about.

Sat in my car, I allow my breathing to return to normal. The heat on my cheeks, neck and ears slowly starts to subside. It’s like my body knew it was him before I’d even turned to sneak a peek.

My phone pings from my bag making me smile.

VP: Mads!

Me: I’m here!

VP: Holy shit! I lost you at the lights, where are you?

Me: Can’t talk right now, but I’ll message later

VP: Don’t forget

I’m excited that I’ve seen him when it was the last thing I expected today. I forgot how drawn to him I am. Every part of my body already aches for the sight of him again.

Having to summon every fibre of restraint I have, I put VP to the back of my mind. The interview starts in twenty minutes. I need this job if I want to stay here. If I want to stay near to him.

My interviewer is a kind, welcoming lady named Vivian. A true northerner through and through. Her dark hair sits at shoulder length on her navy-blue trouser suit jacket. We speak about my experience working with children and how I’m looking for a challenge within the education sector.

“Now, Mrs Harding,”

“Miss Reed, actually.”

Shit. I feel awkward correcting her. “Oh my, I’m so sorry, love. The paperwork says Harding.”

“I’m recently divorced. My maiden name’s Reed. Sorry, I should have said earlier. I’m in the process of changing it all back again.”

“Aye’ I understand. Men.” She raises her eyebrows, making me laugh at the exaggerated expression.

Vivian is clearly an ex-smoker; her face has been wrinkled by years of sucking the cancer sticks. My mind suddenly drifts to VP, a vision of him sat on his bike having a cigarette outside the bar.

“Miss Reed?”

Shit, focus. “Sorry, had a long drive yesterday.”

She smiles as I shift in my seat. “Not to worry. Now, the role, you’re aware it’s a challenging one? The children and young adults sent to us are all individual cases under one system. Each person, be it child or young adult needs one-to-one and group supervision, except we don’t call it supervision, we call it guidance. Many of the children we see have either seen abuse, or they themselves have been the abuser. They will have changed schools more than three times in a five-month window and possibly have been in and out of the care of multiple households. Do you think this is something you’ll able to manage emotionally as well as physically?”

How does one even begin to answer that?

The thought of being responsible for the livelihood of someone so impressionable makes me panic that I won’t be able to handle it.

Breathe.

“Coming from a teaching position, I understand and recognise the vital role teachers and education workers play in the lives of students. I’m sure there’ll be challenges and hurdles to overcome along the way, like any new job. But what I know I can bring to the role, is a caring, level-headed councillor who’ll be readily available to help my students when they need me.”

Vivian smiles, twirling her pen between her fingers.

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