Page 154 of Straight to Me

“Yes,” she says deflated after only moments earlier sounding so bright. The driver honks the car horn for her to go to him.

“I’m at the end of a phone if you need me this weekend, okay?” She nods. “Also, don’t forget we’re meeting at nine on Monday morning with Alex.”

She gives me a rueful smile as the corners of her mouth turn up only marginally. Her eyes soften briefly, looking at me then to the ground before walking away. Once she’s in the car, the driver pulls away recklessly fast. Lauren doesn’t once look up at me as they drive off.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, pulling me from my thoughts to answer.

“Hello?”

“Will you hurry up!”

“Jess, what’re you talking about?”

“I’m picking you up today!” Her voice is loud and bouncy.

I smile widely and pick up my pace towards the green Land Rover I’d spotted, its headlights flash three times as I get closer. When I open the passenger door I find the seat is already occupied.

“BEX!” I cry out her name, shocking myself at how overly emotional I suddenly become. “What’re you doing here?” I sob.

“Madison!” Jumping out of the car, she grabs me and holds me tight. I’ve never enjoyed a hug so much from my best friend. “I’ve missed you,” she says also crying now.

“Oh my god, I’ve missed you too! When did you get here? Why’re you here?”

“I flew up this morning, I’m staying with Jess.” I’m instantly hit with guilt that I have nowhere for her to stay with me. “Hey, I know that look. It’s not your fault you got broken into.” She rubs the sides of my arms. “Jess told me all about it, says you’re staying with Dean?”

“Yeah,” I say shaking my head, laughing. “Shit, I’ve got so much to tell you. Things are a mess.”

“That’s why I’m here. Tonight, it’s girls’ night!” That cheeky, playful face that comes with so much mischief and mayhem instantly brightens my day.

“Girls’ night? I need to grab some things from my place if it’s girls’ night.” Jess and Bex exchange a look. My eyes flit between the two of them. “What are you not saying?” Smiling, Bex nods for me to get in the car.

I jump in the back and slide to the middle so I can lean my head into the front. “Check the boot,” Bex says. Confused, I spot my travel bag. “It was Dean who called me.” Completely stunned, my mouth drops open.

“What?”

“He’s worried about you,” Jess says, pulling out from the school grounds. “He called asking Bex to come up, even paid for her flights.”

Bex turns to me from the front. “He said you needed to see the people who make you the happiest.”

Unable to speak, I simply look at Jess in the rear-view mirror for a minute before finding my words. “Has he said anything else?” I ask, hoping he hasn’t mentioned anything to do with doctors or pregnancy.

“He said we’re to go out and enjoy ourselves, but some guy called Travis will be close by?” I smile to myself and take my phone out of my pocket.

Me: Thank you

VP: Travis will meet you at Jess’s where you’re staying tonight. You need some space from me and some fun, I get it

Me: X

I hesitate to send the kiss, but the warmness I feel inside makes me do it. I don’t need to say anything more.

I fill Bex in on the whole Australia trip and subsequent drama on the way back to Jess’s. Pulling up outside the house, we all share a moment of silence before getting out the car. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay, staying up here I mean? No one would think you’d failed if you moved back home,” Bex says.

Home. My initial thought was that I should move backhome. Then I reminded myself that up here, I’d secured a flat and a new job bymyself. And whichever way I choose to look at it, I was more at home living up north, with or without Dean by my side, than I was anywhere down south.

“I haven’t stopped loving him,” I start, and both their heads turn to face me in the back. “Having to see him every day but not being able to have him... I can see it, can see the pain he carries for me, for Jack. But I’m not going to let myself get hurt again. Once it’s safe for me to go back to my flat, I think it’ll be for the best.”

“Is that what you want?” Jess asks. Thinking hard, I shrug my shoulders before opening the door and grabbing my bag from the boot. What I want and how I see things playing out are so very far apart.

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