Page 148 of Straight to Me

“You’re not alone, you have me. We may not know each other very well, but I can tell you’re a good kid.”

“We need to go,” her brother directs, walking quickly to our table.

“But I haven’t finished my coffee…”

“Do I look like I give a fuck?”

“Hey, you don’t have to talk to her like that,” I say a little too defensively.

“It’s nothing to do with you,” he snaps and the look in his eyes makes me stop. They bulge unnervingly from their sockets. My mouth opens in a silent, nervous gawp. Growing ashen, he grabs Lauren’s arm. “I said, we need to go.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you outside.” Looking to me, then back to Lauren, he lets go, jolting his way past and opening the door with force.

“What the hell was that?”

“He’s got his own issues. Miss?” I stare at him stood by the door outside. “Mads?” Slowly, my gaze finds hers. “Like you said, we’re not bad people, we just have to look out for one another, that’s all.”

I try to relax my features, though the tension is still there. I stand to walk around the table to her.

“If you ever need me, day or night, you call me and I’ll be there as quick as I can.” Without saying a word, her eyes swell and she throws her arms around my middle hugging me tight.

“Thanks, Mads.”

Waiting until she’s ready to let go of me, I let her hold on for as long as she needs before watching her walk off down the street behind her brother. It's only then that I sit back down and feel a pooling of tears take over.

I knew Dean would be waiting at my flat before I even turned up the road and parked in my allotted space. As I pull in, I see him sat on his bike smoking a cigarette.

I haven’t got the energy for any more emotional weight today. After my brief meeting with Lauren and seeing her less than friendly brother, what I need is a hot bath and some peace and quiet. Watching Dean stride towards my car before I’ve even got out, I know I’m not going to get either of those right now.

He opens the car door fiercely. He’s grinding his teeth and his nostrils flare as his fingers shakily run through his hair.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack!?” I step out with some difficulty when he doesn’t move to give me space. Our bodies come close as I push the car door closed behind me. The tension palpable.

“I don’t want to fight with you,” I say, exhaustion evident in my tone.

“If you don’t want a fight, then why don’t you listen to me?”

“Listen to you? I don’t work for you, Dean. I’m not someone you can boss around,” I tell him.

“Mads!” I push past him to walk to the front door. “Stop!” he yells.

“No!” Spinning round, I see I’ve startled him with my tone. He’s rigid as his eyes glare at me. I get that he likes control, it’s a coping mechanism for him, but right now it’s suffocating me. “Please, just give me some space.”

“I just want to make sure you’re safe!”

“Yeah, Jess told me. Don’t involve my family in your need to look after me.”

He looks to the floor, shaking his head.

My chest grows tight, my ability to breathe getting harder the longer I stay near him. I turn back towards my door, a chill spreading over me as the strong smell of him behind me lets me know he’s following.

I put my key in the lock, breathing heavy as my stomach ties in knots. My heart’s aching. This has been a hard morning and I’m not as strong as I should be right now. “Mads.” His voice is gentle, but I don’t turn around, my tears flow freely down my face. Not wanting him to see me cry again, I let the door close behind me.

I drag my feet up the two flights of stairs, crying all the way. At least I have the weekend to myself to drown out the heartache over loving a man who doesn’t want to be with me because he loves me.

Taking the last two steps, a sudden terror strikes my gut. My front door is open.

The small hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Pushing the door carefully, a prickling sensation runs up my spine as the evidence that someone’s been in there becomes clear. Pictures are knocked off the walls, smashed glass from the frames is spread across the entire hallway.

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