Page 146 of Straight to Me

I told her what was happening, or what I could make sense of anyway. I didn’t want to frighten her, but she knew enough to know things were serious between the Sodom Saviours and the Rippers. Regardless of my grim news, both she and Max were comfortable with letting me stay.

Dean left unenthusiastically once I agreed to call if anything happened. Obviously I would call, but I really didn’t think anything would happen here.

Over a bowl of chicken chow mein, Jess and I cried our eyes out watching a ridiculous chick flick movie. A classic boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy, they break up only to find each other again at the end. I guess I was almost at the end of my tale, but the ending remains unwritten.

How would we find our way back together? Even if this apparent danger did pass, what would be the next thing to get in the way? The more I allowed myself to think about it, the more I convinced myself that we would never find our way back to each other. No matter how much we cared about each other our worlds were too different, and there would always be something coming between us.

The next morning, I wake to a message from Dean. For the first time, I wonder whether I should change his name in my phone.

VP: Morning Mads, what time you leaving Jess’s?

Me: Meeting Lauren at 10am. I can drive myself though, before you offer

VP: I’ll take you.

This is exhausting, having the same conversation every time I want to do something.

Me: I told you I can’t keep seeing you. My feelings for you haven’t changed, please, just let me get over you. I will call if I need you

It takes a couple of minutes for his next message to come through.

VP: Don’t leave Jess’s without me there

Me: Did you even read my last message?

VP: I told you things might not be safe.

Me: Might not be safe. I get it Dean, I do, but I’m not your concern anymore. Stop worrying about me. If there’s news of Saviour plans coming, then we do it your way. Until then please respect my wishes.

Silence. No reply. Assuming he'll haul over here to fetch me, I get dressed quickly, thanking Jess for letting me stay.

“Why the rush? He’s coming here, isn’t he?”

“Jess, look if he does come here, just tell him I left.”

“I think he’ll get that when he sees you’re not here. What am I to say to him?” Pulling my head through my oversized jumper, I scramble to tie my hair in a high ponytail.

“I don’t know. He knows I’m meeting Lauren, but he doesn’t know where. Just tell him I’m at work.”

“And whereareyou meeting her?” Stopping still, we stare at each other, my eyebrows raised at her nice, but obvious attempt.

“I know you and Dean have a friendship. If I tell you, he’ll get it out of you by telling you he loves me and that he wants to keep me safe—”

“But he does love you,” she cuts me off, “he does just want to keep you safe.”

“I know, wait… have you talked to him since we broke up?” Her face drops, eyes wide like she just gave herself away. “You have, haven’t you?” I can see the panic in her eyes. “When?”

“He messaged me yesterday.”

“Yesterday! Saying what?”

“Asking me to not let you leave, to keep you safe.”

“I don’t bloody believe this. Anything else?”

“Madison, don’t be angry with me. I wasn’t all nice with him. I told him you needed some space, that it was hard for you to see him right now. He said he knew. He said he’d ruined everything, but I believed him. I believe he genuinely thought he was doing the right thing by you.” Jess walks towards me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “I’m not siding with him, I know you need some space, but heisonly trying to do what he thinks is best the way he knows how.”

I stare at her. “The best thing he could have done was stayed. Not break my heart.” Grabbing my coat, I kiss Axl goodbye where Max stands with him by the door. “Thanks for having me. I really needed the company. Please, if he comes here, just tell him I don’t want to see him. I’m not trying to be a bitch; I just can’t do it.”

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