Page 11 of Straight to Me

“Sure,” I say, scrunching my face with a wry smile.

He lets go of my hand then slips his into his shirt pocket. Pulling out his cigarettes, he lights one. I stand gawping at him, completely lost in his movements as he performs this simple act. His lips suck as it lights and an unreasonable pang of jealousy towards the cancer stick hits me.

“Thought you were desperate?” he says with a grin. Returning the smile, I drop my head slightly embarrassed, before leaving him.

Inside the safety of the communal toilets, I close the cubicle door behind me and let my head rest back against the wood. I allow myself a chance to breathe away from the godly biker. I’m completely enamoured with him.

Outside, voices reverberate off the walls whilst I sit. Not really paying any attention to them, I finish up, but I’m unable to avoid listening when the toilet won’t flush and drown out their words.

“Dean won’t need her much longer. You heard Prez’, once this weekend’s over, the deal will be locked down and we can hit the road. Shit may go crazy today, but Dean knows she’s just for this weekend until business is concluded. And then he won’t need to pretend he’s all wholesome taking his bird to a barbecue brunch. Little miss riding bitch will be long forgotten, don’t worry.”

My hand’s frozen, hovering over the flush. I can’t be sure they’re talking about me, but a gut-wrenching feeling tells me that they are. I haven’t seen any other women on the back of a bike today.

My heart stops. My cheeks feel hot. Tears start building up in the back of my eyes.

I give myself five minutes to cool down before opening the cubicle door. He used me?Shit might go crazy today,one of the men had said.My brain hurts trying to work out why.

I wash my hands and use my phone to see how I look. It’s no good. It’s too dark in here and there are no mirrors. I can’t see shit. I adjust my bag, looping my leather jacket through the strap, and slowly open the main door to plan my route back to the bikes. The last thing I want right now is to see VP or anyone else for that matter.

My body’s entering pure flight mode.

I need to get out of here. He’s eliciting feelings I haven’t felt before, but I feel completely stupid right now. I’m not a teenager anymore. I’m a fully-fledged adult who shouldn’t be putting herself into dangerous situations. How have I let this happen?

The ins and outs are in no way clear to me, but I’m starting to flap. I had no idea what we were doing today, but I thought he was genuine, telling me about his club and getting to know me as we walked around together. I mis-read that entirely.

Putting my sunglasses on, I start a count down from five. As I reach one, I go, walking as fast as I can towards the car park, trying to draw little to no attention to myself. Suddenly, I’m grabbed from behind on the arm.

“Mads, where are you going? I said by the barbecue.”

I manage to shrug VP off, just, and start running as fast as I can. I’m not thinking straight, my body’s working in overdrive to get me away from the outlaw using me. He doesn’t chase me straight away; he must be in shock at my sudden departure.

I look over my shoulder and see him take his first step.

My heart’s hammering in my chest as my feet pick up speed down the hill. A few heads turn my way. Again, looking over my shoulder, I see him gaining on me.Fuck! Run faster!

I’m almost at the edge of the car park. Where I’ll go from there is another question, but if I can get out of sight then I can make my way to the road and call Bex. I left in such a hurry earlier. She has no idea where I am or who I’m with. I’m such an idiot for being so careless.

Unexpectedly catching the toe of my trainer on a rooted branch, I plummet to the ground. My hands scrape gravel, leaving a burning sensation across my palms.

I’m out of sight from everyone else, but as I go to stand, he crashes into my back, and we both drop to the ground again. He’s on top of me, but in one swift move, he uses his strong arms to flip me over, straddling me and holding my hands firmly in place either side of my head.

“Mads, what’s wrong? What are you doing?”

“Trying to get the fuck away from you!” A tear rolls down my cheek as I struggle against his tight grip.

“What the hell happened in there?” he barks but loosens his fingers around my wrists.

“I heard them say you were using me. They said you know what to do and that after tonight, I’d be forgotten about. Whether you planned on fucking me or hurting me, do me a favour and just let me leave. I don’t need this shit right now!”

And I really mean it.

His face is like thunder as the colour drains from him. He lets go, staring silently down at me. I wriggle beneath him, making him stand and let me free.

He brushes his hands together and he looks me up and down as his face wrinkles. “Are you hurt?” he asks. I lift my hands and inspect my palms, slightly out of breath.

“It’s fine.” I brush the gravel off the red patches appearing on my hands and I turn, needing to get clear of him so I can call Bex.

“You’re leaving?”

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