Page 46 of Straight to Me

I let myself in and Jess’s husband, Max, meets me at the door. “Hey, you dirty stop out,” he says with a laugh. Rolling my eyes, I drop my bag on the sofa and walk to the kitchen where I can hear Jess. We say our hellos whilst she puts the kettle on.

“I wasn’t sure what time you’d be back,” she says.

“Oh god, I’m sorry. I got a call from the letting agency. Went and viewed a flat this morning.”

Her face beams at me as she asks, “Did he go with you?” She’s obsessed.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb. Your car’s here. Either you got a taxi or he took you. My guess is the latter considering you stayed at his. Was the sex as good as I’m imagining?”

“Jess!” Startled at her honesty, I can’t help but laugh. I walk closer to her, out of Max’s earshot. “It was incredible.”

She smiles excitedly at me, the corners of her mouth almost touching her ears. “Madison. I’ve not seen you this happy for years!”

“Years?”

“You really like him, don’t you?”

I stare at the ground, before looking her dead in the eye. “It’s crazy. I thought I had it all worked out, thought I was living my best life. It turns out I wasn’t really living at all. I didn’t realise that until I met him.”

She smiles again, before hugging me briefly. She has to let me go when my phone pings from in the lounge. Bex has messaged to thank me for her flowers. She only has two days left before moving. A thought that kills me, knowing I won’t be there.

Me: It’s the least I can do. Gutted I won’t be there Sunday, but I’ll be thinking of you! How are you feeling? X

Bex: I feel like shit. Can’t believe we move soon. I know it will be fine, just feels weird. Any news on the biker?

Me: That’s rubbish. Hopefully it will pass soon?! Urm, yes. He gate-crashed mine and Jess’s meal last night. I ended up seeing his clubhouse (not a euphemism), then he took me back to his. Also saw a flat today which is perfect x

Bex: You totally saw his ‘clubhouse’ HAHA. Did you use protection this time? I’m so pleased for you Madison, honestly! Flat sounds exciting too. Good for you just going for it x

She sounds like my mother worrying about protection. It makes me laugh.

Me: Thanks. It feels like things are moving fast, but I’m happy. I’m doing what you said, just following my heart. X

Bex: Protection?

Me: Bex, I’m not going to get pregnant. I didn’t when Chris and I tried for a year. Chris got another woman pregnant instantly. It’s clearly me who can’t have children. Don’t worry. X

Me: Hey look at me telling you not to worry!

Bex: Why don’t you go see a GP or something, have a test to check fertility? X

Me: What’s the point? x

Bex: Well, then you’d know. X

She’s not wrong I suppose.

Me: I’ll think about it, promise. I’ll message Sunday. Love you

Bex: Love you x

Later on, having called the GP and checked my emails, I sign documents from Michelle for the flat and confirm my attendance at a nine o’clock meeting with Vivian tomorrow. There’s a satisfied feeling that everything’s finally falling into place, making for a very good rest of the afternoon.

I change my clothes from yesterday and spend the rest of the day with Jess and Axl. Around four, we start making his dinner after a walk along the river. My phone rings. Without looking, I know it’s VP.

“Hello.”

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