Page 66 of The Final Deal

“Mama, Mama, I’ve missed you so much!”

Her voice is thick as she replies, “I’ve missed you, too, baby.”

“Look! Abby taught me some of Abuela’s recipes to show you,” Drea says breathlessly as she holds up the container of pan dulce.

Kris dabs her cheeks. “How does Abby know Abuela’s recipes, huh? Did you have fun?”

“It wassomuch fun! But it’d be more fun with you next time. You’ll be home tonight, right? And we’ll get to make Abuela’s salsa? Because Abby said you would teach me that one.”

“Yeah, when is Mama comin’ home?” Shannon asks with arms crossed over his chest.

Kris shoots him a glare. “Don’t encourage her.”

“Mama, try a pan dulce,” Drea says. She peels the top off, grabs a brown, pig-shaped marranito, and thrusts it toward Kris. “I couldn’t remember which one was your favorite, but Abby remembered so we could make it.”

Kris and I both slap hands over our mouths at the same time. Kris visibly bites back a sob, and my body shakes until Zak’s arm tightens around me. I hide my face in his chest; my heart hurts so fucking much.

Maybe this is awful, but I wish she wasn’t here.

“Why are you crying?” Drea asks.

Sniffles. “Because I’m so happy to see you, baby.”

“Come on! Let’s go say hi to Abuela and Abuelo.”

“No, baby, I… I can’t. Mama has to leave.”

The tiny, heartbroken, “What?”, pries my face away from Zak to stare at Kris in disbelief.

Shannon turns away from his wife, covers his face, and his shoulders shake. She stutters for an explanation but comes up short.

“Drea, I’m gonna have a word with your mama for a second, okay?” I say as I stalk toward Kris.

I grab her by the arm and yank her out of earshot of her daughter a few graves down, but not any closer to the cemetery’s exit.

She doesn’t fight me off.

“What the hell iswrongwith you?” I gnarl quietly.

“She wasn’t supposed to see me,” Kris weeps. “It was supposed to be quick?—”

“Yeah, well, she saw you,” I interrupt, “and now you have the fucking nerve to try and act like you can disappear? C’mon, Kris. You weren’t gonna let me slide by when I left town; I’m not about to let you get away with it, either.”

She sniffles and rolls her shoulders back. “This is for the best. You don’t know what’s best for my family, never mind this situation.”

“You tell me that again when I’m the one who walked in on Shannon sobbing his fucking heart out with a razor blade on the nightstand,” I utter in a low tone. Her resolve falters. “You tell me shovin’ him back in that dark place and breaking your child’s heart is what’s best. I may not have a kid, but I know what you’re doingisn’tthe best. You’ve stuck around for six years as la lechuza—why are you just now running off?”

She crosses her arms and scoffs but doesn’t say a word in response. A moment later she sniffles and asks, “What are both of my brothers doing wearing wedding rings?”

I shrug. “We’ve figured things out. But that’s not important—what is, is you flat-out refusing to go home to your daughter and husband and leaving with a piss-poor note.”

“And lie in bed awake every night before I turn, wondering why I stay with the guy who did this to me?” she asks in a voice that pitches an octave. She searches the blue sky with wet eyes. Tears trickle over, dripping down her cheeks as she scoffs with a grimace. “Why do we let the men we love most ruin our lives?”

“To be fair, I ruined their lives first.”

She laughs, a genuine smile forming. Slowly, it falls. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

I chew on my lip for a long moment. “Life is never what it’s supposed to be, isn’t it? Kids happen when they’re not supposed to. You fall in love with the wrong person and can’t help it. You get married, and it turns out your new husband is the literal fucking devil and now you turn into the shit that gave usnightmares as kids. You do the right thing and you get fucked up the ass for it.” My head shakes. “Life will always screw up what we have in mind for it. But at least we have people in it to love who love us back more than we can even imagine.”

---