Page 65 of Jagged Little Pieces

My mom’s bossiness creates order in my chaotic head. Even after we hang up, I breathe easier as I clean up in the bathroom. At some point while I slept, Walla Walla snuck my bags into the room.

After showering, I change my clothes. I fix my hair and put on my makeup. I focus on one task after another until I feel calmer.

After texting Walla Walla, I open the shades and admire the view. I notice a cat running across the yard. Craning my neck, I think I spot her disappearing into an open, side door. Walla Walla mentioned how Xenia recently adopted a pregnant, feral cat. I’m curious about the kittens and their mama.

A rap at the door alerts me to Walla Walla’s arrival. I turn to find him in fresh clothes. His hair is still damp. I smile at how relaxed he seems right now. I hadn’t noticed his tension in Banta City. I realize now how he held stress in his shoulders and chest.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asks, seeming nervous.

“Yes. I talked to my mom. She helped calm me.”

Walla Walla frowns, instantly wondering why I was upset. That’s the difference between how we’re wired. Walla Walla needs a reason to become agitated. Meanwhile, I’ll get triggered by something from ten years ago.

I’d been doing well before the attack on my clinic. I hadn’t cried in months. No panic attacks, either. For a moment, I see myself clearly. I can recall how I felt before danger touched my life again.

“I’m struggling with my clinic being gone,” I explain as I remain at the window, and he inches closer. “The attack happened so fast, and I don’t think I really processed how we might die. Or how everything I worked for was gone. That clinic was mine. I helped people there. Some of them loved their animals so much but couldn’t afford vet care. I felt good about myself because of my clinic, and it’s now gone.”

“I’m sorry,” he says in a tender voice. “I would have saved your clinic if I could.”

“I certainly don’t blame you. You saved my life. I’m just trying to help you understand why I can’t go out and explore your town yet.”

“I planned to keep you trapped here with me for a while,” he says, wearing a cocky, little smirk. “I never get to talk to you for long without someone interrupting. But here, we’ll be alone.”

I share his smile and exhale deeply. “My mom suggested you get me stoned to help keep me calm.”

Walla Walla pauses his slow, seductive move toward me. “And you’ve really never gotten stoned before?”

“No.”

“Not even in college?”

“I didn’t party.”

“Because your dad stole your wild side?”

Tears bite my eyes as I nod. “You would have liked the old me better.”

“What if she’s not gone? Maybe she just got scared. I might be able to coax her out to play.”

“She’s dead.”

Walla Walla gives me a knowing smile and offers in an alluring tone, “No, I think she’s why you have a taste for a tatted biker like me.”

“No,” I reply and shrug. “Turns out every version of me likes hot men.”

Walla Walla inches closer as I consider if I have it in me to be wild again. The answer seems obvious, especially after I needed a pep talk from my mommy just to get out of bed this afternoon. However, riding on his motorcycle did stir a lusty fantasy or two. Maybe my wild side really is only hiding until Walla Walla can lure her out with his brand of sexy fun.

MARTIN

Before checking on Austen, I have a Pigsty meeting with my club members. Coco follows Xenia to the larger kitchen tucked away toward the back of the lodge. Once we’re alone, I dumb down what should be obvious to my club family.

“The Pigsty needs to be quiet for a while.”

Immediately, Tomcat replies, “We already know that.”

“Not just parties. We can’t have strangers showing up. No roughhousing inside the building. Music levels need to be low.”

“Is your woman really that fragile?” Tomcat asks, likely enjoying when he was in charge while I was gone and wanting to retain control.

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