Page 125 of My Lucky Charm

“Dad cheated,” I say, my tone steady. “She didn’t stick around.”

“And that’s why you hate cheaters,” she says, as if she’s just realized something crucial.

“A lot of people hate cheaters,” I tell her.

“True,” she says. “But I always wondered what possessed you to agree to that kiss, and now it makes sense.”

“I didn’t really need a reason to kiss you, Eloise.” I look at her. “But yeah, I do hate cheaters. And I don’t have a good relationship with my dad.”

Her eyes are still glued to mine.

“You don’t need all the details but—”

“Yes. I do.”

I glance at her.

“I mean, if you’re willing to share them.”

“I’m not,” I say. “He was hard on me, end of story.”

“But it’s not the end of the story, is it?” She pulls her feet up underneath her, like she’s settling in for a long conversation. I don’t do long conversations. Or short conversations. I don’t do conversations at all.

“I said Jay made me feel small, and you brought up your dad,” she says.

“Yep.”

“He made you feel small.”

“Yep.”

She nods. “He made you think you had to be the best, no matter what.”

I look away. She’s only repeating what I’ve told her, but I still feel like I’m standing naked in the middle of the ice.

“And that’s why you push everyone away.”

I don’t confirm this “revelation” she’s just had, but I’m not surprised she’s right. “He would say ‘People make you lose focus.’”

“And if you lose focus, you won’t be the best,” she says. “If you start to want something or someone else—”

“You’ll be weak,” I finish her sentence. “He always saw Scarlett as a liability. Said because of her, I risked my entire future. When he found out Celeste was pregnant, he told me to get out while I could.”

She goes still.

“Look, hockey is not just what I do, it’s who I am,” I say, shaking off the past. “And if I’m not the best at it, then who am I? If I’m not the best, then—” I shrug.

“Then you think you aren’t worth loving.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

She’s so right it’s infuriating.

“You’re wrong,” I lie. “He was hard on me, that’s all. But it worked. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m the best, aren’t I?”

“You sure are.” She nods. “You’re at the top.”

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