Page 158 of My Lucky Charm

“I don’t like that look on your face,” I say.

“Simple question. Do you want her or not?” he asks.

They all look at me, wearing matching expectant expressions, waiting for me to respond.

Do I want her or not? The question hangs there in the air, making it weighty and thick.

This is it. The moment of truth.

There’s no going back if I actually admit this out loud.

“Yeah,” I say finally. “I want her.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Eloise

Being professional all the time is exhausting.

After my cathartic “cleansing,” (that’s what I’m calling it), I committed, really committed this time, to being super professional around Gray and focusing on myself.

This is how I learned that I hate exercise, but I love to bake.

It’s how I learned that crocheting isn’t as hard as I thought it would be, and that keeping Gray at an arm’s length is ten times harder.

I returned to work with a double dose of resolve.

Crying suuuuucks, and if I can avoid it, I’m going to.

The first order of business was to put my feelings for Gray in an airtight safe and bury them way, way down deep.

Because that’s worked so well for me in the past, my brain told me.

I told it to leave me alone.

“Old Eloise” would’ve jumped off a cliff if he’d asked me to, and that is not who I want to be.

“New Eloise” is laser focused on work. Work, work, work.

Which is why I tried to get out of going to the charity gala tonight. Because while it is technically “work,” getting all dressed up and spending the evening next to an all-dressed-up Gray threatens to undo all of my progress.

With the introduction of Eloise 2.0, Gray has pulled back too, and it’s nearly killed me. He probably thinks I don’t care about him as anything other than my boss, which is, of course, what he needs to think, even if it’s not even remotely true.

If anything, my new approach to our working relationship has only made my feelings more intense. Because now I don’t know what he’s thinking. About anything. I can’t even guess, and it’s not for lack of trying.

Honestly, I obsess over it a lot more than I want to admit.

Professionally, I’m crushing it. I’ve not only been taking care of Gray, but some of the other guys have started to ask me for help making connections in and around the city. It’s validating, to be sought out like that, and Coach Turnrose called me in his office this past week to commend me on a job well done.

“I admit, I worried we were setting you up to fail,” he says. “But you’ve really worked a miracle with Hawke. Because of you, we’ve got a real shot this year.”

The praise is nice. It’s legitimate and without any ulterior motives, and I accept it even though I’m sure he’s giving me too much credit. Gray is the one out there playing hockey. All I’m doing is taking care of the day to day.

But if the coach thinks it helps, then I’ll take the compliment.

I really am good at this.

The gala tonight is a huge fundraiser for the foundation the Comets created to build relationships in and around the city, support underprivileged youth, and raise money for causes that mean something to the fans. And something to Mark Rosen.

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