Page 40 of Guarded Love

“I ran into her a couple of nights ago,” I announced. That had to be an accident, didn’t it? How the hell else would she have known I was taking Evelyn to that particular restaurant? I didn’t even tell Evelyn where we were going.

“Whatever,” Ari sighed, waving a hand. “Fuck her. She knows she fucked up. She’s doing everything she can to try to get you to forget it.”

“Yeah,” Connor agreed. “And if you ever did, we’d fucking remind you. Nobody wants to go through depressed Magnus again.”

“Fuck you guys,” I fired back. “Depressed Magnus.I never asked you to go through depressed Magnus in the first place.”

“Easy.” Connor gave me a worried glance before shrugging at Ari, who looked bewildered. “We’re just fucking around, man. What do you want me to say? I was worried about you as a friend? Like you wouldn’t bust my balls for the rest of my life if I said something like that.”

Not only that, but while they were talking, my hands clenched into fists. My pulse was racing much too fast. Too hard. Blood rushed in my ears, and I wanted to hurt somebody. All because I was thinking of Leila. I could remember so easily how lost and confused and, yes, miserable I was in those early days when I found out my wife had not only cheated on me but that she had chosen a fucking plumber to do it with.

Some random guy.

Like I meant nothing.

Like our vows were a fucking joke.

Well, they were to her.

Because she was nothing like Evelyn.

There I went again, thinking about her. She was the only thing that had been on my mind all night. I practically had to force myself to go out with the guys when they’d invited me. The only reason I said yes was to make her happy.

The girls wanted to hang out with her. I knew enough about Evelyn now to know how much that meant. She felt accepted. They went out of their way to include her, and she was thrilled. I was all right with that, even if it meant having to spend the evening apart.

Fuck.It finally hit me. Why it took so long, I had no idea, but the truth was obvious. It cut through the pleasant haze alcohol had wrapped around my head. All I wanted all the time was to be with her. All that mattered was whatever made her happy. When we weren’t together, I could only fantasize about what we would do when we were together again. Even surrounded by dozens of smoking hot women in the club, none of them so much as tickled my curiosity. Because none of them were her.

“At least we’ll be able to see more of you when you’re not nursing Eve anymore.”

Hearing her name snapped me out of my thoughts. “Who said I was nursing her?”

“Don’t get offended,” Ari insisted, chuckling. “The girls saw you at the penthouse, and it was obvious you were taking care of her. She needed help. She’s a good one,” he added like he was trying to throw her a compliment.

“I’m surprised she hasn’t killed you yet,” Connor offered with a smirk. “There’s no scratches down your face, so I guess you’ve been getting along.”

No, the scratch marks are on my back. I almost wanted to tell them just to watch their shocked reactions. Smart asses. It wouldn’t be worth what I would inevitably face from Barrett, so I kept my mouth shut, settling for laughing to myself. They didn’t have the first idea.

“She’s not that bad,” I told them after I polished off my second scotch. I was feeling good, floating in that warm, happily buzzed place. And I had something to look forward to. Nothing could stop me from going back to Evelyn as soon as the night was over. For once, I was looking forward to seeing a woman at the end of the night.

I was fully gone, in other words. Exactly the person I always swore I would never be, especially after Leila had destroyed my faith in women.

“Holy shit.”

I looked up from my empty glass to find Connor gaping at something behind me. “Did you see a ghost?” I turned my head, looking around.

Right away, my blood pressure ticked upward again at the site of a certain bleached blonde bitch. She was with a couple of women I vaguely recognized as being her on-again, off-again friends. They were dancing much too close to our roped-off table for me to fool myself into thinking it was a coincidence. We had come here countless times before. Guaranteed, she was hoping I would show up.

“Let’s get the hell out of here.” It would’ve been one thing to see her in public after everything she did to fuck with my head. Seeing her with thoughts of Evelyn running through my mind? It turned bitterness into something acidic, something that threatened to eat me alive from the inside out. I couldn’t trust myself not to do something unforgivable.

No sooner did we stand than Leila decided to pretend to notice us for the first time. “Hey! Just the man I wanted to see.” It was like she was screaming at the top of her lungs to be heard.

“Really? Fuck off.” I lifted a hand, prepared to be anywhere else but there at that particular moment. She was still playing her games. I refused to play along.

“Wait, for God’s sake!” She tried to laugh it off as she followed us across the crowded club and finally caught up near the door. “Come on, don’t be like this. I’m trying to reach out to you. Can you at least meet me halfway?” She batted her eyelashes and pushed out her already inflated bottom lip in a pout.

“Look who thinks they deserve to be met halfway,” Connor muttered under his breath while Ari snickered.

Her jaw tightened, though she pretended she hadn’t heard them. “Mags, please. I know I fucked up. What do you want me to say? I’ll say it. I made the biggest mistake of my life.”

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