Page 47 of Guarded Love

“That’s up to me to decide! You don’t get to decide for me.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying. You haven’t been around men like him,” he argued.

“Men like me?” Magnus’s laughter was loud, booming. “Give me a fucking break, you hypocrite. Don’t even pretend you were a saint all these years. You think you know me so well? I know you too. Don’t pull this saintly bullshit on me.”

“This is my sister we’re talking about.”

“Yeah, and I know why you feel like you have to protect her.”

I was watching a nightmare that kept getting worse by the second. “You promised,” I reminded him in a whisper.

“Promised what?” Barrett demanded.

“I know. She told me, and she made me swear never to tell you. But maybe you need to hear this from somebody other than her. It wasn’t your fault, man.”

Lourde gasped and covered her mouth with one hand. I assumed she knew the truth as Barrett’s wife, and that told me I was right.

My brother’s face fell before it hardened. “Leave now, and I won’t kill you.”

“Barrett. Listen to me.” Magnus looked at me, and his expression softened, but there was still a lost look in his eyes. All I wanted was to fall into his arms and hold him tight even if I didn’t quite understand what that look meant. I only knew he was lost and in need. “I love her.”

The world stopped spinning. Everything went dead silent around me. I couldn’t hear my heart beating. Maybe it had stopped. Maybe the shock of seeing my brother staring at us had killed me, and I was only imagining all of this in my final moments, like the ones people described after near-death experiences. Instead of floating toward a white light, I was witnessing a miracle. I was getting everything I wanted all at once.

“That is fucking low.”

It was my brother’s bitterness that snapped me out of it. “Excuse me?” I whispered. “Say that again?”

He still didn’t get it, too busy throwing his weight around and acting like a jackass to hear me clearly. “Come on. He loves you? Since when? You fell for that bullshit?”

“Nowthatis low,” Magnus murmured. He didn’t sound so angry anymore. Just… sad. “I mean, I thought we were better than that. But that’s how little you think of me.”

“That’s not true,” Lourde offered.

Magnus shook his head. “Thanks, you don’t have to defend him. He knows what he said, and he meant it.”

He turned to me again, wearing the tiniest, saddest grin I had ever seen. “But I meant it. I did. I do. I need you to know that.”

“Wait. What are you doing?” No, this was all wrong. It couldn’t be this way.

“I’m leaving since I’ve been ordered to go. I might be a total bastard.” He added, glaring at Barrett over the top of my head, “But I’m not going to stand in the way of you two. I would never do that. So I’m taking myself out of the equation.”

“Let him go,” Barrett warned behind me. “Believe me. You’ll thank me later.”

He was leaving. He was letting my brother run him off without fighting anymore.

But he loved me. He said he did, anyway.

I didn’t know what to believe anymore. If he loved me, why wouldn’t he fight harder? Because this was his way of fighting. Fighting to make sure I had what I needed, only it was him I needed.

Why didn’t I say it?

Why didn’t I tell him?

I didn’t have the courage. Not in front of Barrett, especially when I knew it would make things so much worse. I could only watch with a sinking heart as Magnus left the room, and moments later, the elevator doors chimed to signal his exit.

“As for you…” That was what did it. The words my brother chose in the moments immediately after my heart went from swelling with joy to crumbling into pieces. That was what made me snap.

“Do not ever speak to me like that again.” I turned slowly, lifting my chin, glaring at him until he fell back a step. “You will never speak to me that way again. Thank you for everything you’ve given me and all you’ve done for me, but this is it. I’m getting my things together, and I am going back to Boston today. I’ll follow up with my doctor out there. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

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