Page 14 of Dirty Saint

Without him looming around the edges of my night, there was hope that I could enjoy myself even more. It was a night away from work—away from the worries of taking care of everything—and still, it felt as though the night had been ruined because I had to breathe the same air as him.

Even though I had enjoyed my night at The Strip, I knew I would never return. I couldn’t chance seeing him again. I had too much going on in my life. I juggled too many things. I had the feeling seeing him would screw up my concentration, and I knew myself well enough to know that if I dropped even one ball, the rest would fall with them. I couldn’t let that happen. I wouldn’t do that to Gracie. She was too close to graduating—too close to a better life.

“When are we leaving?” I asked Sadie.

She turned my way, her eyes bright with excitement, and her hair windswept from the passing motorcycles.

“You’re not having fun?” she asked, confused.

I nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

She shrugged and grinned. “Then what’s the problem?”

There were many problems, but I didn’t want to ruin her good time as Koah had ruined mine. Sadie was drinking and having fun with people she knew well, and it was good for her to get out since I knew she worked just as hard as I did at The Huddle. Honestly, she and I ran the place most days.

“No problem. I was just curious.”

She put her arm around my shoulders and pulled me in. I could smell the alcohol on her breath and wondered if I would have difficulty getting her keys so I could drive.

“Relax, babe. Have a good time. You deserve it,” she slurred.

I chuckled. “I think you’re having enough fun for us both.”

It was getting late, and you could smell the morning dew. Gracie being home alone worried me, but I kept reminding myself she was seventeen and not a baby. Honestly, she was more competent and street-savvy than I had been at her age, but she was still my little sister. My job was to worry about her, lead her in the right direction, and help her make the correct decisions. She was as strong and stubborn as I was, even if she didn’t show it, but I wouldn’t let up.

At least I had a good life until I was thirteen. Gracie’s hell started at seven. She had to grow up way faster than I would have liked, dealing with foster homes and going through God knew what. Every night, I prayed that she hadn’t experienced the things I had while in foster care, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask her. Those thoughts moving through my brain only fueled my hatred for Koah.

I checked my watch again, wishing Sadie would say she was ready to go. Maybe Gracie had a point about the cell phones. Being able to call and check on her would put my mind at ease, but the money wasn’t there. Maybe a couple more shifts at The Huddle would allow us a cheap phone with prepaid minutes—nothing expensive, but a little something in case of an emergency.

“Earth to Tori,” Sadie said, waving her hand before my face and making her silver charm bracelet jingle.

I hadn’t realized how caught up in my thoughts I had been.

“Sorry. What’s up?”

“After-party. You’re coming with us.”

It wasn’t a question, and honestly, no matter how badly I didn’t want to go to an after-party, I knew I couldn’t let Sadie drive herself anywhere. She needed a designated driver, and since I had only sipped a bitter beer earlier in the night, I was the only sober person at The Strip. Still, I tried to talk her out of it.

“After-party? The night’s over. It will be morning before you know it.”

She laughed. “You sound like an old woman. We’re going.”

“Only if you let me drive,” I countered, holding my palm out for her car keys.

She rolled her eyes and tugged them from her back pocket. Placing a mound of keychains and keys into my palm, she shook her head. “Fine. You drive. I see two of you anyway.”

I hadn’t driven a car in a long time, and it had only been a handful of times. The last foster family I lived with before I aged out was adamant about me getting my driver’s license, and for the first time in my life, I was thankful they had pushed me to do it.

I slid into the driver’s seat of Sadie’s car, and a couple I didn’t know got into the back. The sounds of them making out filled the car before I even had it in drive, and to block them out, I turned on the radio. Sexual things made me uncomfortable, and I had spent most of my life ignoring any sensual part of myself. I didn’t plan on changing that any time soon.

Sadie leaned up and turned the radio down, ignoring the sloppy kissing noises from the back. “So what did you think of The Strip?” she asked.

I shrugged, turning on the blinker for a left turn. “It was different.”

I liked it but hated it because he was there. I couldn’t say that to her, though. She would have questions, and I didn’t want to answer anything about him.

“But you had fun, right?”

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