Page 104 of Dirty Saint

He shrugged. “I mean, is she just a piece of ass, or are you getting serious with her?”

Something about his line of questioning made me feel uncomfortable. We weren’t the type of friends who had heart-to-hearts about our relationships. It was weird as fuck.

“Why?” I asked, not answering him.

“I don’t know, man. I was just asking. You looked happy with her.”

I scanned his face, trying to figure out the reason for this conversation. Why was he asking? Why did he care? Before I could respond, Joker called me over to the table, and I went to get away from how awkward Donny B. was being.

We took what we wanted and paid in full. Then we loaded up the back of Crow’s car and headed out. Still, I couldn’t shake the weird feeling in my gut telling me Donny B. wasn’t acting right.

The rest of the day was spent resupplying, running, and dealing. We stopped to eat lunch, and I fought to fill Joker in the entire time. Crow stared at me from across the table, waiting for me to open my mouth and confess, but I had to wait until I talked it over with Tori first. The next time she and I were together, I would tell her no more hiding. I was done with that shit, no matter how hot it made her. I wanted her with me all the time—hanging at our house, snuggled on the couch watching movies, and sleeping in my bed.

Picking up my phone, I texted her, needing to hear from her—needing to know she was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about her. Crow shook his head, obviously disappointed in me, and dug into his fries.

Koah:Last night was amazing.

I set my phone on the table and finished my food. We paid, drove home, and I showered. An hour passed, and she didn’t text me back. I couldn’t remember if she had said she had to work on Sunday, but if she wasn’t responding, she had to be busy. I didn’t let it bother me. However, when the day turned into night, I began to worry, and instead of texting her, I called. She didn’t answer, so before I went to bed, I rode to Waffle House to check on her.

I could see her working from my spot in the parking lot, but I didn’t bother going in. The place was slammed, and she looked busy. Knowing she was at work and okay, I headed home and texted her good night before I passed out.

THE NEXT MORNING, I checked my phone, but there was still no response. I sat up in bed, and an awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach told me something was off. Tori usually responded right away. I understood she had probably worked a double the day before, but there was no way she would have gone to bed without telling me good night.

I showered in the hottest water I could stand to wake myself and skipped breakfast. Within an hour, I was on the way to Tori’s apartment. The parking lot of her place was dead since it was relatively early. Usually, people loitered all over the place, waiting on prospective customers or making sales right from the parking spot they were sitting in. I hated showing up at her place so early, but I couldn’t shake the worry.

What if she hadn’t made it home safely last night? She refused to let me take her to and from work, which made me crazy, but I thought it was time she stopped taking the bus. It was too dangerous. Many things could happen on her walks to and from the stops. I was her man. It was my responsibility to make sure she was safe. I included her baby sister in that, as well.

My boots were loud against the stairs to her upstairs apartment, and when I reached her door, I knocked loudly, knowing I was probably waking the girls but needing to make sure they were okay. The door shook in its frame, and briefly, I considered picking the locks and entering.

I waited, but no one came to the door.

Again, I knocked. This time, it was longer and harder.

Maybe they weren’t home? Gracie had been going to a friend’s house a good bit lately. She could be there, but where was Tori? Waffle House stayed open twenty-four hours, but there was no way she was still there working. Even if she were, she would have had break times. She could have texted me back then.

“Tori!” I called out, slamming my knuckles against the door again.

Nothing.

What the fuck?

Pulling out my phone, I texted her again.

Koah: Answer me. I’m starting to worry, babe. Where are you?

31

Tori

Ireadhistext,my back against the shaking door, hearing him get frustrated on the other side that I wasn’t answering when he knocked. My heart was breaking. The worry and desperation in his voice when he called my name was almost my undoing, but I had to stay strong.

I couldn’t give in. It was the right thing to do. Koah had been through enough, first with my father and all the terrible things he had done to him. I wouldn’t follow in my father’s footsteps and ruin Koah’s life even more.

Things were moving too fast. Or at least it felt that way once I saw Koah embracing Donald, my demon. In my heart, I knew Koah would kill Donald with his bare hands if he knew Donny B. and my rapist were the same person, but that was just it. I didn’t want Koah to lose anything else because of me. It didn’t matter that Donald was a terrible person. He was Koah’s friend.

Koah was already lying to Joker for me, and while I said it was mostly because I liked sneaking around, which I did, it was also because I hated the idea of coming between them. I was the common denominator if I put myself between him and another of his friends. Even though I hadn’t done anything wrong, I was the problem when it came to Joker and Donald.

So I did what I thought was best; no matter how hard it was or how badly it hurt, I pulled away. I knew the last night with Koah, when I fell asleep in his arms, would be the last time. He had no idea that I silently cried myself to sleep, and the following day, when I woke to find him gone, I died a little inside, knowing I had to keep my distance.

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