Page 99 of Thick & Thin

Once I was dressed, I leaned over her, taking in how beautiful she looked. Her hair was wild, her lips swollen from my kisses. I knew beneath the sheet she was naked and warm, her smooth skin plump and begging for my touches.

I was a lucky man.

I kissed her before running the tip of my nose across hers.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked, since I wasn’t sure if she would be busy or not.

She bit her bottom lip and nodded, a sweet grin tugging at the sides of her lips.

She was perfect.

Again, I kissed her, breathing her in to hold me over for bit, and when I pulled away, I told her I loved her once again. Like before, she didn’t respond, but I didn’t stress about it. I saw it in her eyes, and for now, that was enough.

The house was dark and quiet, but I knew my way even in the dark. I locked the front door and pulled it closed behind me. Once I was in my truck and the engine was running, I put it in drive and started toward home. I smiled the entire way, feeling like the old me for the first time in three long years.

We had dinner at her placethe following night. She made spaghetti, which was Caleb’s favorite, and we sat at the table and ate together. It was nice, and for a few moments, I could pretend Jenny and Caleb were mine. Afterward, I helped her clean the kitchen while Caleb watched cartoons in the living room and played with his toys.

After Caleb’s bath, we snuggled on the couch and watched a movie until he could no longer keep his eyes open and passed out in Jenny’s arms. We didn’t move him and continued to watch the movie.

“I think I need to get him to bed. My arm is going numb.” She chuckled, leaning up and holding Caleb in her arms.

He wasn’t a tiny boy, and he looked huge and heavy in her arms.

“I can put him in his bed,” I said, reaching out to take him from her arms. “I mean, if that’s okay?”

There was a strange look in her eyes that sent a shock to my heart. Jenny was a single mother. She was probably used to do everything for Caleb. She deserved help sometimes, and honestly, I wanted to do it. Kids weren’t in the cards for me, but Jenny and Caleb were. If I wanted his mom, it meant I wanted him too.

She let me take him from her, and I held his small frame against my chest. It was bizarre, how close I felt to Caleb even though I had just entered his life. His little head rolled onto my shoulder and his pouty lips popped open as he breathed in deep. I grinned down at him, feeling a warmth for the boy in my chest.

The hallway to his room was dark, but I knew the way, and once I opened his bedroom door and I saw the little puppy nightlight, I smiled. His room was blue with trains colorfully painted on the walls. His bed was small, and his bedding was red.

In the corner was a toybox overflowing with toys and a kid’s tool bench next to that with plastic tools and little bits of wood. There were shelves too high for him to reach full of children’s books, and I wondered briefly if Jenny read to him at night.

I pulled the blankets back and lay his little body on top of the sheets with choo choo trains all over them. His head brushed mine, and the smell of his soap smelled fresh like a baby. My chest grew tight, and I found myself staring down at him as I covered him with his blankets, wishing more than anything that he was mine.

When I stood to leave his room, I found Jenny leaning against the doorframe of his room smiling back at me.

“He’s kind of perfect, huh?” I said, feeling love blossom for the small boy in the bed beside me.

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears I didn’t understand.

“He is.”

I moved to her and took her into my arms.

“What’s with the tears?” I asked, reaching up and wiping one away with my thumb.

She shook her head and closed her eyes. “Nothing. It’s just seeing you with him. I can’t explain it.”

I kissed her forehead and held her closer.

We turned everything off since Harold was staying the night at his girlfriend’s place again, and then we got in Jenny’s bed and watched TV in her room. Instead of sex, I held her in my arms, kissing her when I couldn’t help myself and knowing I couldn’t stay. I was too afraid of the nightmares—of hurting Jenny—of her finding out I was more broken than I looked.

She fell asleep in my arms, but instead of leaving, I held her close and finished the movie. If I didn’t think about it too much, I could almost pretend we were in our own home, Jenny was mine, and so was Caleb, which was exactly what I wanted.

33

Jenny

---