Page 89 of Thick & Thin

And just like that, the moment between us faded away. The bag of gummy bears forgotten. The fact that his mom was still alive because of me long gone from his mind.

He moved, pushing into me until I was pinned between him and the front door.

“Say it again,” he seethed. “I fucking dare you.”

I swallowed, knowing I was about to push him over the edge. I wasn’t scared of Josh. At least not the old Josh, anyway, but this person … the man he had become while he was hiding away in Texas for three years, I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction I would get, but I didn’t care.

“You’re a coward,” I repeated.

His nostrils flared, and his lips went tight. His dark eyes moved over my face as if he were debating on where to attack, but he didn’t. Instead he shocked me.

I had thought we would fight. I had thought that maybe we would push each other and say things we had kept pent up for the past three years. I thought we would break each other down to nothing like we had been doing since the moment he stepped foot back in Walterboro, but that was not what happened. Instead, his mouth crashed down onto mine, stealing my breath and making me jerk as if he had hit me across my face instead of kissed me.

I stood there, unsure of what to do.

“Kiss me back, goddammit!” he growled against my lips, pushing into me until all I felt was the hard door at my back and his steel frame against my front.

I did as he said, forgetting I was angry. I kissed him back. Hard. Angry. Biting and gnawing at each other with a mix of steamy kisses and tongues. He moved his hand up, clasping his fingers around my neck and holding me in place as he pulled back, tugging my lip with him before going back in for more.

Then as quickly as it started, it stopped. He pulled away from me, his back slamming into the screened door.

“Shit,” he growled, swiping at his mouth as if I disgusted him.

I stood in the doorway, my breath drilling in and out of me. Things happened so fast it was almost as if it hadn’t happened. I touched my fingertips to my lips, and the memories of our first kiss rushed through my mind. We stared at each other until finally he moved toward me fast and angry.

“Fuck it,” he spat.

And then his lips were on mine again.

He pushed into me, clawing at my sides and pulling me into his hard body, and I didn’t stop him.

It was late. No one was home since Lilly and Devin had taken Caleb to a movie, and Dad was out of town with Janice. I was in my favorite nightgown, which was an old and thin gray T-shirt my mother had left behind. It was so thin it allowed me to feel every angle of Josh’s body and the heat it radiated. His free hand moved to my hip, tugging my bottom half and slamming it against his undeniable hard length threatening through his jeans.

He pulled away from the kiss with the contact of my hips, and hissed, “I don’t remember you feeling this good.”

“You either,” I said, pulling his mouth back to mine.

He tasted like the past. Like days on the lake and sunshine. Memories swirled in my mind, and I let them take over, reminding me of all the reasons I fell in love with Josh to start with.

He moved us, pushing me into the house and slamming the door behind us without even breaking the kiss.

“Is anyone here?” he asked, his mouth skimming my chin before he moved lower and nibbled the side of my neck.

“No. Don’t stop.”

We didn’t make it to my bedroom. Instead, he backed me to the kitchen table and lifted me before moving between my thighs. The roughness of his jeans against my thin panties was almost unbearable. The room was dark, which made me feel better about him not being able to see my body. He grabbed the bottom of my shirt to lift it, but I stopped him from removing mine and instead removed his.

His chest was hard, his muscles rippling in the tiny bit of light coming from the front porch. His dog tags shined, and I reached up and touched them, wishing I had been able to stop him from going into the military. That was when I saw it, the tiny silver feather from the necklace I had bought him in Cherokee, North Carolina, years before. He still had the charm, and it was behind his dog tags, hidden behind the war that had torn us apart.

“You still have it,” I whispered, my fingers moving over the silver.

He stared down at me, his expression clearing, and my Josh came through. The side of his mouth lifted into his signature grin, making his dimples wink back at me.

It made me feel better about keeping my locket that he had given me for my sixteenth birthday. It was tucked away in a safe place since it was one of my most prized possessions.

I tugged at his hips, pulling him into my center, and he hissed.

“I want you so bad,” he said, reaching down and unbuttoning his jeans. He pushed them down his hips, and the warmth of his hips pressed against the inside of my thighs. “Don’t stop me.”

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