Page 88 of Thick & Thin

Then I remembered the terrible things I said to her the first time I saw her again that night at Sprints.

Looks like those gummy bears finally caught up with you.

Shit.

No wonder she didn’t want the fucking gummy bears.

“Look, Jenny, about what I said at Sprints about …” I stopped, waving my hand at her body.

She went tense, her eyes hard.

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It was cruel.”

“But I deserved it, right? For running off to Texas and fucking everything with a cock. Isn’t that what the people in town are saying?”

They were.

It was what I always thought, too, but now I wasn’t so sure things went down that way.

“Look at her,” she mocked the way she thought the town’s people might sound. “She went off to Texas, slept around, got pregnant, and gained all that weight. She’s really let herself go.”

“Stop it, okay? Fuck what everyone else says. You never cared before.”

“I don’t care now. I just don’t want you to think I’m stupid and don’t know what people say about me. I know what they think. And now I know what you think, too. It’s fine. I’m glad Mom’s doing okay. Please have someone let me know when she can have visitors. Caleb wants to see her.”

She turned to go back inside, but I reached out and stopped her with my hand on her arm.

“You don’t know what I think.”

And she didn’t.

She only knew what I let her think. What I let everyone think. But the fact was, what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her, and she would never how I was still in love with her. It was the reason I lashed out. She would never know how badly I wanted a family—kids—with her. It was the reason it burned so badly to see her with Caleb.

“Then why don’t you tell me what you think.”

What was I doing?

I came to thank her, and I had done just that. Why was I pushing for more? Why was I feeling myself opening to her? She was dangerous. I couldn’t let myself get caught up in her again. Not when I had nothing to offer her or Caleb. I was broken. I was fucked up.

No.

I shook my head.

“Well, you know what I think, Josh? I think you’re scared.”

Scared?

She had no idea what the fuck she was talking about.

29

Jenny

“Scared?” he scoffed.“I’m a fucking war hero.” He slammed his fist into his hard chest with a thump. “I’m not scared of anything. Especially not you.”

“You’re no hero. You’re a coward with a purple heart to pin over your black one. You’ve been an asshole to me since the moment you stepped back into town, and now suddenly everything’s okay? No.”

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