Page 75 of Thick & Thin

I woke gasping for air.The sounds of explosions ripped through my room, and it felt as if the walls were shaking. I tossed about under my sheet, ridding myself of what felt like cloth strapping me to my bed, and I jumped up, my mattress creaking and popped as if it were full of land mines.

The rush across my room had me tripping over things that I envision were body parts, wrecked and mangled all around me, and I slammed into my dresser, making the mirror sitting on top if it shake and threaten to flatten me.

Reaching up, I placed my hands on the sides of it to keep it from falling, and my eyes skimmed the pictures of my past that were taped around the edges.

Jenny.

My friends.

My life before it was detonated into nothing.

Light from the moon sliced into my room and illuminated my reflection. For a second, I didn’t know myself or the person staring back at me. Sweat coated my chest, my dog tags stuck to the center like a beacon, a reminder of being altered completely in a matter of seconds. My abs flexed with each quick deep breath I pulled in. If I hadn’t been in just my boxers, I would have ran from the house and breathed in the fresh air. I felt as if I was smothering to death.

Quickly, I pulled on a pair of jeans and snatched a T-shirt from the top drawer of my dresser. I grabbed my keys and then crept through the house, careful not to wake my mom. Once I was outside, I felt as though I could breathe easier, but I still needed to go. Movement was key. If I was running, whatever was chasing me couldn’t catch me. If I stood still, things would go to hell. It was the only way to keep the explosions and panic at bay.

I got in my truck and cranked the loud engine, hoping the noise didn’t wake my mom. I drove around town, taking in the places I hadn’t seen in forever and stopping at lights even though the place was a ghost town at four in the morning. An hour later, I found myself parked in front of Jenny’s place.

I didn’t pull into the driveway, but it wasn’t the first time I found myself parked outside her place since my injury. Just as it had been in the beginning back in Texas, knowing I was close to her helped my anxiety.

The old house looked the same. The porch was chipped and looked as though it was minutes from falling. The screened door was hanging unevenly, waiting to snap back and take off your fingers if you didn’t move them quick enough. The only real difference was the garage. There weren’t as many cars and trucks parked out front, but I assumed that was because Devin and Jenny’s dad had moved their business to a different part of town. At least that was what my mom had told me.

My eyes skimmed their yard, taking in the toys I was sure belonged to Jenny’s son and the broken pieces of pottery that had seen much better days. The ranch fencing that had once looked nice was falling apart and into the ditch in front of their house.

Then I noticed other things. Like the new windows in the house. The roof had been replaced. Things were slowly being fixed there, and I knew it had to do with Jenny’s new sister-in-law, Lilly. Jenny had told me when Devin had first started dating Lilly that she was loaded. I smiled a little to myself, knowing the house was finally getting some love.

I cut the engine and sat back, relaxing in the seat and staring up at the star-filled sky. The crickets in the ditch next to me filled the night with their music, and on occasion, a car would pass me. I felt my panic and anxiety slowly melt away, and even if I didn’t want to admit it, I knew it was because I was near Jenny.

My body relaxed, and my eyes slowly started to drop. When I got to Jenny’s, I hadn’t planned on falling asleep, but the next thing I knew, I was waking up, the sun was blazing into my truck, and Jenny was pounding on the driver’s side window and glaring in at me.

25

Jenny

Caleb slept in the bed with me,which meant I didn’t get much sleep. I spent most of the night replaying the day’s events on loop. Josh and his expression when he saw Caleb. The fear I felt when I thought he had realized Caleb was his son. And the way he treated me with so much hatred as if we hadn’t spent a lifetime together.

With Caleb at my side snoring, I played on my phone instead of getting out of bed, looking at Pinterest and pinning things I would never do. It wasn’t until my dad tapped on my door and opened it that I sat up.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Josh is sleeping in his truck outside. Maybe you ought to go wake him and get him home?”

That made no sense at all.

“He’s sleeping in our yard?” I asked to be sure I had heard him correctly.

He nodded. “Well, not in the yard but just by the driveway. Go out there and talk to him. See if y’all can’t straighten things out.”

I snorted. “That’s not going to happen. We hate each other, Dad.”

“Fine. No talking, but at least tell him to go home.”

And then he left, closing the door softly so he didn’t wake Caleb.

I put my phone on charge next to my bed and got up to do as my dad asked. Without bothering with dressing, I went outside in my pajamas. A purple set with llamas all over them that Lilly had gotten me the Christmas before. Josh had seen me in worse, and honestly, he already had a bad opinion about the way I looked, so I no longer gave a shit.

My flip-flops slapped against the ground as I cut through the cool morning, and the dew on the grass wet the tips of my toes and clung to the bottom of my pajama bottoms. As soon as I cleared the bush next to my driveway, I saw Josh’s truck, which was parked where Dad said it was. The tires were barely on the road just beside the large ditch at the front of my yard.

Seeing his truck parked so close to my house reminded me of when we were younger. I envisioned him climbing down from his truck dressed to go fishing with his hat on backward and the fishing poles sticking out the back. I missed those days so much it hurt to even think of them.

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