Page 62 of Thick & Thin

Tears rushed to my eyes, and I turned away so Amy couldn’t see.

Josh engaged?

My stomach burned with the thought.

Why was I doing this to myself?

He was out living his life like nothing had happened.

He didn’t give a shit.

Why should I?

My jaw set, and my teeth ground together. “Fuck it. Let’s go get trashed.”

I tossed what I was working on onto the desktop and grabbed my things. I called Lilly and asked if Caleb could spend the night, and of course, she was thrilled to keep him.

After locking up, we drove to my house where Amy attempted to find something decent in my closet, which ended up being a pair of short jean shorts, a white tank, and a blue plaid shirt that she refused to let me button. She brushed my hair and pulled out a tube of lip gloss from her bag that I refused to let her put on me. Then I slid on the only pair of sandals I owned, missing my flip-flops the entire time.

She stood back and smiled. “You look great.”

She was lying. She had to be. I felt like a lumberjack in my plaid shirt. Especially with it unbuttoned and I hated wearing shorts anymore because my legs were so fat. I didn’t say this out loud because letting anyone know my self-esteem wasn’t top-notch wasn’t something I was willing to do.

Still, I smiled a bit when Amy said, “God, your legs are gorgeous. You should wear shorts more often. Mine are little skinny sticks. I wish I could be as curvy as you.”

I rolled my eyes and snatched my trusty hair tie from the top of my dresser before popping it on my wrist. No way was I leaving my hair down for long.

“Shut up,” I said playfully. “You’re slim. Slim is good. Trust me.”

That was the most I said about size. She didn’t need to know I was having a hard time accepting my new shape.

Amy followed me to Springs while I drove my “muscle car.” At least that was what she called it. She had no appreciation for cars. Me, I was all about cars. It was expected since I was raised by two motorheads.

My car was my baby. The only man I needed in my life who wasn’t family.

By the time we made it to Sprints, the place was packed with locals. My nerves were a wreck, and honestly, going inside was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, but I held my head high and followed Amy like I was a regular.

We sat at the bar, and I ordered a simple beer after she ordered her fancy girl drink. When the bartender handed our drinks over, Amy’s was pink and in a curvy glass. Mine was in a beer bottle the way God intended. We drank and talked about the day, and I felt myself beginning to relax.

“I’ll be back. I need to pee,” Amy said, leaving me alone at the bar.

I peeled the label of my beer and tried not to seem uncomfortable sitting at the bar alone.

I took a swig from my beer, letting the bitter liquid slid down my throat. And when I set my bottle back on the bar top and looked across the bar, my eyes clashed with Josh’s.

Fuck.

20

Josh

I knew before I left Texasthat Jenny was home in Walterboro. Not only had she disappeared from school a few years back, but my momma made it a point to tell me when she came home. Apparently, she had gone and gotten herself knocked up, ran home from college with a baby bump, and ended up at the tech school. Things were still so fresh then, and the pain I felt when Mom informed me of Jenny’s fall had altered me.

What a waste.

Jenny had squashed her dreams, sleeping her way through Texas after I had broken her in and forgetting about me like I was nothing. Just a dick to kick-start her fall. We had been so much to each other. Jenny was my childhood. My world. The only woman to hold my heart. And while I knew it was my fault for pushing her away after I had been injured, she should have stayed by my side. Pushed for me the way I would have pushed for her. Nothing could have kept me away from Jenny. Not even her. Yet she had let me start the downfall of our relationship without much of a fight.

Then again, when I remembered the way I had yelled at her, the way I had screamed at her to leave, maybe it was too much for her. Maybe my little stone maiden wasn’t as hard as I had always thought.

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