Page 55 of Thick & Thin

Lilly’s soft voice worked magic, and I heard the guys leave and the bathroom door shut softly.

“Feeling better?” she asked, her dark brown eyes searching my face.

I nodded.

I sat back against the bathtub and rested my head against the cold porcelain.

“Are you going to tell them the truth?” she asked, making me look at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Jenny. We both know there was no one in Texas.”

“We do?”

She grinned and nodded. “Was it Josh?”

I nodded, not able to say the words, and then I broke down. She pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back. “Shh, it’s okay. We’ll get through this. I’m here for you. Give Dad and Devin time.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t worried about my dad and Devin. I knew they would forgive me. It was Josh I was worried about.

“They can’t know. No one can know until I tell him. He’s been through too much. He won’t even see me right now.”

“Okay,” she agreed.

“I’m serious, Lil. Promise you won’t say anything.”

She reached up and swiped a tear from my cheek. Her sweet smile calmed me. “I promise.”

And I knew she would keep that promise until I felt the moment was right.

Ifthe moment was ever right.

I didn’t go back to school right away even though Lilly and Devin begged me to. I couldn’t leave South Carolina knowing Josh was barricaded in his house and injured. It didn’t matter that he didn’t want to see me. I wanted to stay close in case he needed me, but that didn’t happen.

I could do nothing but stress over him and miss him, and meanwhile, he had no desire to even see me or at least answer when I called. It was as if we hadn’t been anything to each other. Like we hadn’t spent almost a lifetime together. Obviously, he considered our last night together a mistake, and this was his way of letting me know. That was the only thing that made sense to me. And with that realization, my heart broke so hard it hardened. I wasn’t sure it would ever soften again.

Two days later, Josh left South Carolina.

Without seeing me.

Without even speaking to me.

He was gone, and no one would tell me where he went.

Why was I sitting around waiting on him like this?

One night together and he thought he could treat me like shit?

I didn’t think so.

If he didn’t want a relationship with me, whether it was romantic or friends, then I certainly wasn’t going to force one on him. I would have to be satisfied in knowing he was safe and alive. I had no idea where he was, but at least I knew he was okay. And even though my heart broke every morning that I woke knowing we were no longer anything to each other, that would have to be enough. It would have to get me through.

Two days after he left, I went back to school. I couldn’t stay and finish my degree from Texas A&M, but I could finish my prerequisites and maybe transfer them to a school in South Carolina. I wasn’t going to let things fall apart for me. I could do this. I could do anything I put my mind to, and while my dad and Devin still weren’t being chatty, I knew they would have my back.

I didn’t need Josh.

I had a piece of him, and I had a family who loved me and wanted to see me succeed.

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