The memory of being too sick to go to visitation and see Josh flashed through my mind. I had been on antibiotics for fourteen days thanks to a serious upper respiratory infection.
My mind spun like a top.
Birth control.
Antibiotics.
Potency.
The words rushed through my brain like a freight train.
“Son of a bitch,” I muttered to myself, running my palms over my stomach in shock.
The doctor covered his mouth, hiding his smile I was sure.
I had missed my period, although I had been too busy to even think about it. I had missed periods before. It was the main reason I was even on the birth control pill. Still, I began counting the days in my mind.
As if realizing what I was doing, the doctor said, “Based on the date of your last period, you’re about twelve weeks, but you’ll know more after you first OB appointment. Do you have any questions?”
He wasn’t serious.
I had about a million and two questions, but at that moment, nothing came to mind. I shook my head, feeling the disbelief setting in. There was a baby in my stomach somewhere. Swimming around like it wasn’t about to rock my world and turn my life upside down.
The doctor handed me my discharge papers, and I closed my numb fingers around them. I checked out of the hospital on autopilot and met my family in the waiting room.
The drive home from the hospital was quiet. I sat in the back of Devin and Lilly’s Expedition beside my dad and kept my eyes out the window, watching as the town passed by.
I waited for someone to start asking questions or, at the very least, freak out, but that didn’t happen. Devin stewed as he drove, simmering like a pot until I was sure he would boil over and explode. Lilly looked over at him from the passenger seat every few minutes to see if he was ready to burst.
And Dad … he didn’t even look at me.
Nineteen and pregnant. It wasn’t exactly how I had planned my life, but before I made any crazy decisions, I needed to talk to Josh. He would know what to do. He would make everything better, but I wasn’t sure if it was a good time. He had just gotten home from a terrible experience. Not to mention, he wasn’t even willing to see me, but I wouldn’t give up. This was Josh. My best friend. The first man I ever loved, and the first person and hopefully the last person I ever gave my body to.
When we pulled into the driveway, it was late. Devin didn’t speak to me, but Lilly turned my way, and said, “Go inside and get some rest. I’ll come by tomorrow, and we’ll have lunch and talk, okay?”
I nodded, reaching over to open the door to get out.
“See you at work tomorrow,” Dad said to Devin. “Lilly, get home and put your feet up, baby. Our little wild boy will be here before you know it.”
He leaned up and kissed her on the cheek before he opened his door, got out, and went inside.
Everyone was either disappointed in me or in shock like I was.
I stood on the porch until the Devin’s taillights disappeared. I didn’t bother going inside. Instead, I took the steps and went to Dad’s truck. He left his keys in his truck since it wasn’t worth much, and we lived in the middle of nowhere, and I climbed inside and cranked it. He never said anything when I borrowed his truck every now and again, so I didn’t worry.
I pulled out and took the route to Josh’s place. It was later than I would have liked, but there had been countless nights when I used his bedroom window to go inside and play video games long after his momma sent me home.
I parked close to their driveway without being noticed and cut the engine. The rocky road of his driveway crunched beneath my shoes, and when his daddy’s dog, a German Shepherd named Ralph, came around the side of the house and toward me, I was never so happy that instead of barking at me, he tried to jump on me and lick my face.
“Down, Ralph,” I whispered.
He followed me to Josh’s window, which thankfully was on the front of the house facing the main road. Going to his window, I went up on my tiptoes and tried to peek through the blinds to make sure no one was in the room with him. The light was on, and from what I could see, no one was inside the room.
Josh never locked his window. So, when I slid my palms along the glass to lift it, it popped out of the windowsill easily and slid up. I pushed the blinds to the side and used the muscles in my arms to lift myself up and into his bedroom. Once inside, I shook out my shirt and sat on the edge of his bed. If his light was on, then he wouldn’t be gone long.
Two minutes passed before his door opened, and he limped inside. He was naked from the waist up with a towel wrapped around his hips. His broken arm was in a plastic sling, keeping his cast from getting wet, and my eyes went to his chest and the healing cuts and scars that weren’t there before.
He closed the door and turned when he finally noticed me there.