Page 32 of Thick & Thin

Him inside me.

All around me.

I had dreamed of a moment like that with Josh for years, and it hadn’t disappointed.

The problem was, things felt awkward. We were still together all the time. That part hadn’t changed, but eye contact was nonexistent. We talked but never about anything important. And I noticed Josh was working the farm more than usual.

I stayed in the garage with Dad and Devin, changing oil and tires and freeing them up for dropping engines and other big jobs. When they didn’t need me, I worked on Carlos. I even got him to crank twice. It was kind of a big deal, yet I couldn’t get excited about it.

Things couldn’t stay this way. Josh was leaving for basic soon, and I wouldn’t let him leave while we were on such strange terms.

Tossing my wrench to the side, I slid myself out from under the Dodge when I finished the oil change. I pulled my rag out of my back pocket and wiped the sweat from my face.

“Dad, I’m going to head out for a bit. You need anything?”

“Nah, I’m good here. Go fix whatever the hell is going on with you and that boy.”

I never knew how he knew, but my dad always knew when Josh and I were on the outs, which wasn’t often. And for some reason, even though he had known Josh as long as I had, he still called himthat boy.

I stopped off at the E-Z Mart, which happened to be the halfway point between our place and the Black’s farm, and put five bucks in Dad’s truck before going inside.

“Here for your sugar rush?” Denny, the old man who ran the store, asked.

He knew Josh and me well.

“Yep.”

I went down my favorite aisle, the one with the candy, and snatched a bag of Starburst from the shelf. After I paid, I got back in Dad’s truck and drove the rest of the way to Josh’s place.

When I pulled up, I saw him out by the barn directing a horse inside. I turned the truck off and got out. Going across the lawn, I went straight to the barn. When I stepped inside, he was locking up.

“Hey,” I said, catching his attention.

He looked up at me before he pulled his hat off and swiped at the sweat on his forehead.

“Hey.”

I tossed him a bag of Starburst. He caught them and looked down at the bag confused.

“What are these for?” he asked.

“Listen, about the other night …”

He rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

Finally, he looked me in the eye. “You’re sorry?”

“Yeah. I won’t go into detail, but what I did was wrong.”

“What you did?”

“Stop repeating me and just say you forgive me so we can forget about it.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

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