I wasn’t sure how long I slept,but when I woke, it was still dark out. I checked my cell to see that it was four in the morning, and when I looked up and saw that Josh was staring down at me, I jerked.
“You’re awake,” I stated the obvious.
The TV was still on, and he looked extra sexy in the soft glow of the screen.
He reached out and caught a lock of my hair between his fingers with a smile. “I am.”
“Why aren’t you sleeping?”
He kissed the side of my mouth and pushed his fingers into my hair. “I don’t want to miss a single moment.”
His sweet words sent a wave of joy over me.
“You’re going to hate yourself in the morning. You should get some rest.”
His eyes moved over my face, and I could see the moonlight just outside the window in his eyes.
“Tell me about Caleb’s dad,” he said, sucking the oxygen out of the room.
I tensed in his arms, and suddenly, the room felt as though it was falling all around me. Earlier in the night, when I watched him put Caleb to bed, I had almost told him the truth. The moment had been perfection, and strangely, when Josh pulled away from Caleb, there was a look of longing and love in his eyes.
I should have told him then, but I hesitated, and once again, I was in a position I didn’t like.
“We went to school together.” The lie leaped from my lips.
Although, technically, it wasn’t a lie. Josh and Ihadgone to school together.
He nodded, accepting my answer easily.
“Did you love him?” he asked, a dark shadow passing over his expression.
His questions were making me nervous. Before, I was all set to tell him the truth, but now things were different. We were almost us again, and I was afraid if I told him, I would send things in reverse. I loved being with him too much to lose it so soon.
He would be mad that I didn’t tell him before, and I didn’t want to screw up whatever it was we were doing as soon as it started. So again, for selfish reasons, I continued to lie.
“I don’t know.”
I did know.
I was so in love with Josh it hurt.
A pained emotion filled his eyes, but he blinked it away.
“You had classes together or something?”
I nodded, looking away as I answered.
Josh used to know me better than I knew myself. If he looked in my eyes, he would know I was lying.
“What’s his name?” he pushed.
I didn’t want to lie to him anymore, so instead of answering, I said, “I don’t like talking about him. Can we talk about something else?”
He frowned, and I saw his mind working.
I could only avoid the subject for long. He wanted answers, but the problem was, I was too afraid to lose him again to give him what he wanted.
34