Page 61 of Virtue & Vengeance

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ZANDER

EDEN HAD DONE SOMETHING no other person had ever been able to do.

Shake me down to my fucking core.

Did she love me?

She had all but said it.

But I refused to believe it.

She was young and naive, and I’d shown her a different kind of life than she had been used to. She was confusing infatuation with the fucking L word. She was hurting now, but soon she would realize I’d done her a big fucking favor.

I couldn’t love Eden the way she deserved because I didn’t deserve what Eden was offering.

I was a monster.

Worse.

I was a murderer.

I told myself that it was better we stopped this charade now, and for the first few days the following week, it worked. But then it didn’t, and I was left feeling like the ground had been pulled out from beneath me.

By the third day, it was hard to keep telling myself that it was better this way when all I wanted to do was walk across the lobby and feel the softness of her lips against mine. It was hell not going to see her every night, even though I still had my guys watching her, it wasn’t enough. I wanted to be the one to keep her safe.

I knew her schedule, and it was a different kind of hell not seeing her around Empire Sevens on her day off, but when she called out the following day, I wasn’t sure I could take much more. I wanted to go and check on her since my guys weren’t expecting to be at her place today. Like me, they had expected her to be at work.

I was sitting at my desk, contemplating going over to Kennedy’s, but knowing there would be hell to pay if I did, when there was a knock on my office door.

“Come in,” I snapped. I couldn’t help the tone of my voice these days.

The door opened, and then Vinny’s familiar face appeared from the other side. He was of average height, with a large round stomach and a receding hairline. He reminded me of a forties mobster whenever he wore his pinstripe suits, which was every time I saw him.

“Nice to see you, too,” he said.

I sighed. “I’m sorry,” I said, but I wasn’t.

“I get it. You run an Empire. I’m sure the job gets stressful.

I nodded, not wanting to quibble over semantics. “What do you have for me?”

“It’s the file you wanted.”

He stepped toward my desk and handed me an envelope.

“I’m positive you’re not going to like what you find in there.” He nodded toward the envelope. “So please assure me you’re not going to do anything stupid.”

“You know me. I rarely do anything stupid.” As I said the words, my mind went to Eden.

I’d been stupid with her.

“That’s what I’m counting on. Let me know if you need anything else?”

“Thank you, Vin.”

Once Vinny was gone, I made sure no one disturbed me as I pulled out the documents inside the envelope.

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