Page 59 of Grimstone

“Yes. I’m barely holding it together.”

That’s something I haven’t admitted to anyone, even my own brother.

I’m telling Remi because I know she’ll understand.

And she does.

There’s no judgment in her face, only sympathy.

“In a way that makes me feel better…”

“Why?”

“Because you’re intimidating. And if I’m honest…” She takes a deep breath, her cheeks turning pink. “…I’d like to think we’re not so far apart. The other day when you said you saw yourself in me…” Her blush deepens until her whole face is red. “That really made me feel good. It made me feel…so much less alone.”

Her gaze drops, then she chances one quick glance back up at my face.

I don’t know what she sees.

I can’t separate the churning mass of emotions in my chest—surprise, pleasure, but also a hefty measure of guilt…

“You’re not alone.” I brush a lock of that ludicrous purple hair back from her face. It doesn’t look so bright and outrageous inside the house. Actually, it’s quite beautiful, the deep violet against her dusky skin. “Not right now.”

I bend my head to kiss her.

This is a different kind of kiss than those that came before. This one isn’t stolen—I pause with my lips an inch from hers and wait for her to tilt up her mouth.

When her soft lips press against mine, a pulse surges through my body.

Fuck.This girl has quite the effect on me.

I take a step back, though I can’t convince myself to actually move away. Our knees are still almost touching.

Softly, looking at some unfocused point, Remi says, “I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I did like it in a way, the hypnotism—afterward, I felt this incredible sense of clarity. Like I was transparent and the air could go right through me, and I could see everything in a whole new way…”

Her hand floats up and touches the back of my thigh. She closes her eyes and leans forward to rest her head against my stomach. “…Until it got to be too much and it all fell apart.”

I feel a craving in the back of my teeth but not for food.

Carefully, I say, “Would you like to try again?”

Remi presses her forehead against my abdomen, hiding her face. She grips at the back of my pants.

“I…I don’t know. Afterward, all this time had passed, and I couldn’t…couldn’t quite remember everything we did...”

She casts a furtive look up at my face, a flash of blue-green tipped with lashes fluttering black. Her eyes are like a Rorschach; they’ve become the symbol of everything in my mind. I see a hundred images shifting like ink…what we did…and what we did next…

I remember every second of our session.

And I want more.

* * *

15

REMI

Dane goes around the room, lighting candles. He keeps the light low in his house as a general rule, and as I’ve learned, candlelight is gentlest on the eyes…save for starlight.

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