Page 54 of You Make Me Feel

“I can tell. You look relaxed.”

He pulled out of the parking lot, and once he got on the road, he grabbed my hand and kissed the top of it. “Now, tell me. What was keeping you away from me, baby?”

I lowered my head for a moment. “Well, that Sunday when I left your cousin’s house, although I said I would wait for you, I expected you to come after me. When you didn’t, I thought you were angry and embarrassed. That was the second time I’d done that to you because I couldn’t control my temper. So, I asked Ki to pick me up to give you space. It killed me inside to do that, but I assumed that was what you wanted.”

“I don’t care how angry or embarrassed we think we make each other. I need you to promise me that you won’t assume things. I don’t have a problem expressing how I feel, and I know you usually don’t either . . . until now. For the record, I wasn’t embarrassed or angry at you. I felt that way toward my cousin because I always felt like that nigga was up to no good. I didn’t come right out because I was explaining how I felt about the situation to my cousin. Then that nigga came in all hostile and shit. I had to make sure he knew that he would get fucked up. When I came outside, you were leaving. I went to your house to see you, but you weren’t there.”

“Yeah. I went to my parents’ house because my mom called requesting that I go over there. I’m sorry for assuming. That won’t happen again. I’ll be sure to communicate better.”

He kissed my hand. “Okay. That issue is squashed. Now, why did your mom need you to go over there?”

I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. I felt he already knew but wanted to hear it from me. “Jarod was there, telling them all kinds of bullshit about me. Most of it lies. The only truth he spoke was that we’d slept together. That shit broke me because I hated seeing my parents’ disappointment in me. I’ve done my shit over the years, but I was always discreet about things I did. Jarod and Robert are friends, and they are trying to destroy my reputation, life, and relationship with you. I hate it. That’s why I haven’t been to church. I’m so embarrassed about what he said that people believe about me.”

“What people? Besides your parents and Kiana, where do those people even stand in your life?”

I shrugged.

He continued. “Exactly. Fuck those people. Why do you give a damn what they think? If they aren’t adding anything to your life, why would you allow them to take from it? That shit has taken your confidence, peace, and overall joy. That includes Jarod. Fuck that nigga. The biggest flex is to show him you are unfazed by his antics. He’s a grown-ass man throwing a fucking temper tantrum. Let that nigga look stupid and miserable by himself.”

He kissed my hand again. “So, tell me what all this shit has to do with me.”

I stared at our hands. The way he was handling this entire situation was so foreign to me. He didn’t raise his voice, and neither did I. Oliver was a level of grown I had never experienced. I knew I hit the damn jackpot with this man. As I fidgeted, I felt the car slow down. I looked up to see we were at a traffic light. “Look at me, Kinisha.”

I hesitantly looked up at him, and he caressed my cheek. “You don’t ever have to be hesitant about telling me what’s on your mind or your thought process. Just tell me.”

“I didn’t want you to have to deal with the bullshit Jarod was putting me through. You agreed to be a father to my baby, but that was because he didn’t want to be. Now that he’s showing interest, for all the wrong reasons, I’m sure, I didn’t want you to feel like he’d taken something from you.”

“Let me stop you for a moment. I didn’t agree to be a father to your unborn child simply because he didn’t want to be. I want you. Since I want you, I want everything and everyone that comes with having you. Your baby is an extension of you, no matter who the father is. I want to be a father to your baby because I want to be your husband. That’s it.”

He gently slid his hand over my stomach as if bonding with the baby. When the light changed to green, he eased into the intersection.

“My thoughts seem so stupid now. I just didn’t want you to be in the middle of the shit I played a part in. I didn’t want Jarod to push you to places you didn’t normally operate in. You don’t deserve that.”

“Despite what you may think about yourself, you don’t deserve that shit either. You deserve a nigga like me, and I deserve a beautiful queen like you.”

I tried hard to stifle my smile, but it was for naught. It shined through anyway. “Oliver, damn. I put us through unnecessary shit. I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t unnecessary. It helped us understand each other better and made us talk to each other. I want you to see that I’m ten toes down for yo’ ass no matter what happens. You my baby, Kinisha. Whatever somebody trying to do to you, they trying to do that shit to me too. I’ll go to war for you, baby. You my everything, and I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect and defend you.”

“So we’re good?” I asked.

“Better than good.”

I smiled, and this time, I lifted his hand and kissed it. He slowly shook his head as I held his hand to my chest. Satan wouldn’t have his way this time. Nothing would destroy the bond between Oliver and me, and anyone who tried to do that was wasting their time.Fuck ’em.

Chapter 20

Oliver

When I got to my house, Kinisha looked confused as hell. I told her we would get something to eat, but she didn’t know I’d had a meal catered for us at my house. I was so fucking happy to be reconnected with her. At first, I was angry at her, but then I had to realize that there was something I hadn’t made clear. Even if Jarod decided he wanted to be a father, I would be there because I loved her. Her baby would always be a part of me because I was fully invested.

Going to appointments with her made me feel like that was my baby. That baby would be mine as long as she and I were together. Her explanation didn’t surprise me. She was so selfless. She thought she was preventing me from enduring the bullshit with Jarod, but she was killing me by taking her love away. I didn’t give a fuck about Jarod. Although he was the biological father, he was a nonfactor.

I got out of the car and walked around to help her out. As badly as I knew she wanted to ask questions, she remained quiet. She trusted the fuck out of me, but if she wanted to know something, I wanted her to ask. “It’s okay to question me, baby.”

She smiled. “I was just wondering why we’re here.”

I bit my bottom lip as I stared at her. “You about to see in just a minute. You trust me?”

---