Page 24 of You Make Me Feel

The knock at the door halted my thoughts. I stared at it for a moment, thinking if I should allow Oliver in my space. I gave him the address, but I was overthinking. I supposed fooling around with Jarod had me questioning stupid shit. Finally, I stood and went to the door. After checking the peephole and seeing him standing there, I opened it. He had on a yellow buttoned-down Polo-style shirt. I gave him a soft smile and invited him inside. When I closed the door and turned to him, he was staring at me.

Closing in the space between us, he came to me and pulled me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and closed my eyes. “Thank you for coming, Oliver. This has to be awkward for you.”

“Why so?”

“The woman you’ve been chasing is pregnant with someone else’s baby.”

“The only way it would be awkward was if you were mine first and got pregnant from someone else afterward.”

I pulled away from him and grabbed his hand, leading him to the couch. Once we sat, I huffed and fell back onto the couch cushions. “I fucked up my life.”

“How? You’re already in your career field. It’s not like you’re in school or something. This baby could be a blessing. Just because it didn’t happen how you wanted it to doesn’t mean it has to be bad. You’re a strong woman. Fuck him.”

“My parents—”

“If you’re so concerned about what your parents think, do something about it.”

“Something like what?” I asked with a frown.

“Be mine. I’ll be your boyfriend, and the baby will be mine. Simple fix.”

My eyes widened, and I sat straight up.Be his?“Oliver, how would that change anything?”

“You’ll have a boyfriend and a father for your baby. You’ll save face in front of them, and I’ll go with you to tell them you’re pregnant.”

My heart was racing. I brought my hand to my chest as if that would steady it any. “Are you saying what Ithinkyou’re saying?”

“I don’t know. What do you think I’m saying?”

“That you would pretend to be my man and father of my child.”

“You’re only half right. I wouldn’t be pretending to be your man. I would be. You wouldn’t be able to see anyone else. The buck stops here. You would be mine, and I would pretend to be the biological father of your child. However, I would be a father to them as well. We could raise your baby in love.”

“I . . . I need to think about that,” I said as I stuttered.

He nodded, then pulled me to him and hugged me. He laid his soft lips on my forehead as my mind traveled rapidly. If I said yes, I would only be pretending to save face. Was my image worth all that? That would mean I could no longer hassle Jarod’s ass about being a father. He would get off easy, and I could be miserable in a relationship I didn’t want. When his lips touched my forehead again, I looked up at him.

Oliver stared into my eyes as the tears fell from them. I was so stunned by his offer that I was at a loss for words. Why would he want to raise a child that wasn’t his? I couldn’t understand his reasoning. Finally, finding my voice, I asked, “Why? Why would you settle?”

“Who said I was settling? You aren’t the only woman out there, but you are the only woman I want. A baby isn’t going to stop me from wanting you. It just gives me one more person to love eventually. The question is, do you want me?”

“I . . .” I looked away from him, but he swiftly grabbed my chin and turned my head back to him. “I don’t know. I don’t want to say yes because I’m vulnerable and want to pull the wool over my parents’ eyes.”

“Take time to think about it. Even if you are only with me to pull the wool over your parents’ eyes, I can promise you that won’t be the reason why you stay. Give me a chance to prove I can be the one for you, baby.”

He touched my cheeks and gently caressed them with his thumbs. His gaze was taking me down faster than I could count to five. I closed my eyes for a moment. When I reopened them, his face was closer to mine. His lips lightly grazed mine, and the heat encompassed me. He pulled away, and I was left wanting more. I didn’t know how that happened when he was a man I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to be with in any capacity.

Oliver was my coworker, and he seemed like he would be an amazing friend. However, I didn’t want to set myself up for failure. If I wasn’t satisfied, would I be able to be faithful? I stared at him as he mumbled, “You think too much about the wrong things. Don’t take too long to decide, or it will no longer be on the table.”

“You’ll change your mind about wanting me?”

“No. I’ll change my mind about taking the heat. You’ll be facing your parents and family alone, telling them about the baby a nigga like Jarod wants nothing to do with. Once you start showing, I’m not coming to save the day. I’m going to be there from the beginning. I won’t tarnish my reputation because you can’t decide.”

He released me from his arms, and I immediately felt a chill. Not because I was cold but because he’d taken away his soft words and hit me with the truth. I lowered my head to my hands, wishing I could have a drink. This should be a no-brainer, but for the life of me, I didn’t understand why I was having such a hard time with it.

“So, if I say yes, I’m all yours whether or not I want to be, right? No going out or talking to other men.”

He side-eyed me as he stood from his seat. “I don’t know who you take me for, Kinisha, but whoever that muthafucka is, he ain’t me. You a smart woman. You know that shit wouldn’t fly. What confusion about the words ‘you’re mine’ is there? That’s as straightforward as it can get. Take it or leave it. Your decision. I gotta go.”

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