Page 19 of You Make Me Feel

After taking a deep breath, I looked away. “I have to get back to work. Thanks again.”

He gave me a soft smile as my phone buzzed. When he left, I looked at it to see a message from my mother. They moved your dad’s surgery up because he’s complaining of chest pains. We’re cooking dinner tonight so we can dine together as a family. His surgery is tomorrow. See you when you get off, baby.

I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. I would tell them about my lack of judgment after the surgery. This was too much to bear. Daddy’s surgery and this baby already growing inside me had my nerves frazzled like they’d been electrocuted. Unwrapping my sandwich, I took a bite and moaned softly. I loved the Club Royale. That only brought my thoughts back to Oliver.

After my second bite, a wave of nausea swept over me, causing me to sprint to the bathroom. I threw up the little bit I’d eaten, then rinsed my mouth. If it continued, I didn’t know how to hide this from my parents tonight.

When I looked up, Mr. Taylor was standing there watching me. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

“Stomach bug?”

“I just have a nervous stomach. They moved my father’s surgery up to tomorrow, and my nerves are on edge.”

“I understand. You know you can take the rest of the day and tomorrow if you want.”

“I’m good for today. I may need the morning, though. I can come in later after his surgery.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, Mr. Taylor.”

He gave me a tight smile and gently rubbed my back. I smiled and returned to my office to find a bouquet of pink roses on the glass table near my window. I knew that they were from Oliver without even reading the card. However, I approached them and pulled the card from the stem.

If no one told you how beautiful you are today, let me be the first. One day, I will wake up to your beautiful face, telling you, “Good morning, gorgeous,” every morning. Until then, I’ll settle for seeing you in the office and trying to manifest our future. I’ll continue to practice loving you until it’s a reality. Enjoy your flowers, baby. Have a good day. ~ Oliver

This man was gonna have me in a pool of tears.Jesus Christ.As I felt the waterworks building, I walked over to my desk and gulped some cold water. Grabbing my cell phone, I decided to text him. I glanced at his business card positioned on my desk for his number. The flowers are beautiful, and the message is even more beautiful. Maybe I’ll see what you see one day, but I can’t see it now, Oliver. Thank you so much. I needed the pick-me-up.

I had to keep reminding him that we would never be a couple because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. If he chose to keep trying, that would be totally on him and not because I was leading him on. God had a weird way of doing things. Perhaps that was why the scripture said his ways and thoughts were not ours because I was definitely confused about why he would allow perfection to find me when I was everything but.

* * *

My entire body trembled as I walked through the back door of my parents’ house. The rest of the workday had been quiet, and, as expected, I didn’t get a response from Jarod. I wasn’t a worrisome female, but this situation was about to turn me into one. I needed him to know what we created in our lust. There was nothing passionate about it. We were fucking. It was good as hell, but emotionally, there was nothing.

“Kinisha, hey, baby,” my dad said excitedly.

I could have sworn that he wasn’t having surgery tomorrow. He didn’t seem worried in the least bit. “Hey, Daddy. How are you feeling?”

“I’m having some slight pains, but I know God has me. After tomorrow, I will feel much better.”

I was glad he was feeling optimistic. His mood was helping mine. I leaned over and kissed his cheek, then sat on the couch as I heard the door open. Kiana and Lazarus entered the family room, where we were seated. Since they found out she was having a little boy, Lazarus’s chest had been puffed out whenever I saw them. I chuckled at the sight of him. “Hey, Ki. How are you feeling?”

“Hey, Nisha. I’m good. What about you?”

I stood from my seat and hugged her. She held me a little longer than usual but quickly backed away and grabbed my hand, bringing it to her stomach. The slight flutters I felt made me smile. “The baby is excited to be in your presence.”

I chuckled, then hugged Lazarus, realizing I’d gotten away without answering her question. That pregnancy brain was already in full effect. I was happy about that, though, because it kept me from having to lie. I felt shitty, but there was no way I could tell her that without an explanation immediately following that statement. “So, have y’all picked a name yet?” I asked.

“No, not yet. I suggested Lazarus, but my husband adamantly disagreed,” Kiana said, then chuckled as Laz eyed her.

I had to say, it was a very different name. I’d never heard anyone naming their child Lazarus until I met him. I laughed, so I was grateful he said no. The kids would tease my poor nephew all through school. “Well, what about just naming him Laz, like Laz Alonso?”

“Laz is his nickname as well. His whole name is Lazaro,” Ki said.

I frowned slightly. “Well, dang. You must follow the man heavy to know that.”

“If you must know, he was once my celebrity crush. Now, I can only focus on my real-life crush, who became the love of my life.”

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