Page 3 of You Make Me Feel

“Or sometimes, love comes from it,” I responded as I glanced at Lazarus.

Her gaze softened as she followed where my eyes had gone. “You’re right, but Lazarus didn’t have a bad reputation. He was just older and more experienced than me. Totally different, Nisha. But I’m not here to judge you or beat you up. Do you, and I’ll still be here for you if you need me. You know that.”

“I do. Thanks, Ki.”

She and Ramsey had always been my ride-or-die friends. I appreciated them more than either of them knew. Their support meant the world to me. I sat beside her, lifted her feet onto my lap, and massaged them. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as I chuckled. She was so overdramatic. I loved the hell out of my big sister, but I couldn’t heed her advice. Jarod was going to get all this size-sixteen body—every inch of it.

Chapter 2

Oliver

My mind was all over the place when I got to my cousin’s house for Sunday dinner. Kinisha Jordan had slightly been in my arms for a couple of seconds. That woman was the entire reason for sitting where I sat in church. Besides going to hear the word, having her in my view was the best thing going. She was so damn beautiful. When she bumped into me, it afforded me the opportunity to feel just how soft her body was.

She stared at me like she was trying to read me, but her taking a final glance at me before going back into the sanctuary gave me hope that she saw something memorable in me. I’d been watching her for a while, long enough to know she was feeling one of the ministers’ sons. Jarod Speights was one of the biggest hoes our church had to offer. It was like he came to church strictly to prey on vulnerable women.

I’d been a member for nearly five years and had immediately noticed Kinisha. She seemed kind of young, though, so I kept my distance, watching her mature. She used to appear to be playful, and she laughed a lot. I knew she wasn’t in high school, but she didn’t seem too far removed from it. It wasn’t that I was super old. I’d just turned thirty but was far older mentally than physically.

I graduated from high school at sixteen from North Shore High School in Houston and got my bachelor’s degree in computer science at nineteen from TSU. I also obtained degrees in computer information systems and business management. I was hella smart, and it was a turnoff for some women. That just meant I was pursuing the wrong women.

In high school, I barely got any play. Being the valedictorian didn’t help. Girls in my grade were older than me as well. My thick Coke-bottle glasses back then were a nuisance that my mama couldn’t seem to understand. So, I tended to stay out of people’s way so I wouldn’t be noticed. When Iwasnoticed, it wasn’t good attention. It was so that I could be bullied or talked about.

After getting to TSU and getting turned out by a girl wanting help with a paper, I hit the gym hard. That shit was a confidence booster like no other. Now, women said I was cocky.Go figure.My body was sculpted like God had taken the time to mold it himself, but it couldn’t be seen most times. I rarely wore short-sleeved shirts, unless I was at the gym. For work, I wore long-sleeved dress shirts.

I owned an information technology company. Different businesses contracted us to handle their computer systems. We maintained the hardware and software, and my company built a reputable reputation in Beaumont and the surrounding areas as it had in Houston. I wanted to relocate to a less busy area. While I still had the office in Houston, I moved here five years ago to start another office.

My parents were instrumental in my success. They’d been saving money for me since I was a baby, and the day I turned twenty-three, they handed me over a hundred grand. That was how I started my office in Houston. The success of the company had made me a rich man. Most people didn’t notice that at first sight. I dressed modestly, but I was anythingbutmodest. When asked, I wasn’t bashful about boasting about my accolades.

I worked hard to get to where I was, and I’d be damned if I were going to let anyone make light of the time and effort I’d put in over the years. People seemed to think that this shit was easy. Getting my name out there and convincing people to trust me took a lot of free labor. I had plenty of sleepless nights trying to find new ways to market myself to a market that was oversaturated in the first place.

As I sucked the meat off these tender-ass ribs, my cousin’s friend said, “Shit. Some lucky woman would be extremely happy.”

I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. I swore Shannon was a handful. She was in her late forties or early fifties and married but never hesitated to flirt. Instead of responding verbally, I stared at her and sucked the barbeque sauce from my fingers.

When she started fanning, my cousin, Anise, said, “I wish you would quit teasing her ass. You about to give her heart palpitations. Second, I don’t like the picture you’re painting. Eww. You’re my cousin, and I don’t wanna see that shit.”

I chuckled. “I couldn’t help it. Shannon, if you were younger, I’d give your husband a run for his money.”

“Shiiiid, I can outrun these younger women. Don’t fuck with me, boy. I ain’t took my medicine today. I’ll have you screaming in that bathroom.”

I laughed so hard I nearly choked. Every time I was around Shannon, it was the same shit. She had some type of mental disorder because of the abuse she suffered as a kid, and Anise told me that she was a handful when she didn’t take her meds. She was introduced to sex at a young age and had become an addict. I wasn’t sure what medication they had her on to tame it, but she often joked about not taking it.

I hoped I never had to be around her when she hadn’t because I wouldn’t be able to fight her off for long. She was beautiful, and her husband had to be extremely trusting or understanding of her illness. I’d fuck her for sure, but I did my best to abstain from casual sex with women I saw no future with. Now, Kinisha’s ass, I’d rub that shit just right. I could imagine a future with her, but I would settle for casual sex until she saw what I saw.

As I ate my food, Anise and Shannon continued discussing some interior design Shannon was working on. When I finished my greens, I brought my plate to the sink, rinsed it off, and then loaded it in the dishwasher. “And he cleans up. Can you cook, baby?” Shannon asked sweetly.

“Shannon, focus,” Anise yelled.

I laughed, thanked my cousin for the food, and then went to the other room to turn on the basketball game. It was getting close to All-Star Weekend, and I planned to be there. It was in Houston this year, so I would be near an office if I had to work. I owned a loft in Houston just in case I ever had a long day. I could just stay the night. I wished my parents were still alive. They were up in age when my mother got pregnant. My dad was in his late forties when I was born, and my mama was forty-two.

They called me their miracle baby. My mother was told she couldn’t conceive for reasons I didn’t remember, but according to her, God had other plans. They spoiled me rotten, but they also made sure that I was afforded the best education I could get. I got to high school when I was twelve. They decided to keep me there for four years so I could mature a little more before going to college. Otherwise, I could have graduated at fourteen or fifteen.

My mama had said that God had given me the gift of knowledge. Some things that I knew, I didn’t even know how I knew it. I just did. Things I thought were common sense were difficult for most people. It wasn’t until I was a college sophomore that I realized my mother was right.

However, there were some things that intelligence couldn’t quite help with—matters of the heart. It couldn’t make a woman love me. It helped me notice quickly when a woman I thought I was compatible with wasn’t interested. I’d given up on love for a while. It seemed to be eluding me anyway. However, I’d been craving it for the past couple of years. I think it started when my mother died.

She was one of the only women in my life who genuinely loved me. Many of my family members, except Anise, only wanted what they could get out of me. I discovered just how lonely I was without her. My mama was my best friend. My dad was too. He died seven years ago of a massive heart attack. My mama died of a broken heart. Now, I was in this world, navigating it alone.

Anise had a boyfriend, so most of the time, she was busy. The only reason I was chilling here today was because he was out of town on a business trip. He wouldn’t be back until Wednesday. I honestly thought he was a fuckboy, but she loved his crusty ass. Judging her personality and demeanor, I knew she would defend him at all costs until she caught him for herself, so I kept my analysis to myself.

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