Page 50 of Sheikh's Unexpected Triplet Babies

She blinked in surprise at him, and when she spoke, she felt oddly cautious. "There's a lot to know, and I'm still learning...but do you want to learn with me?"

He smiled at her, and she was surprised by how shy his smile was. "I do."

She had a moment to bask in the warmth, but then he continued.

"There is...so much between us right now," he said heavily. "Sometimes, it feels as if we will never come out into the light again."

She started to protest, but he held up a hand, and she fell silent.

"Let me speak, please... The truth is that we have muddled things, you and I. I have always believed that there is a proper time and place for all things, a rhyme and a reason. We have done things out of order. We have feelings we shouldn't have had, we will have children that shouldn't be--"

Bedelia lurched to her feet, all but snarling at Jahin. In the back of her mind, she was shocked at how quickly she could go from happiness to rage, but then the rage consumed her.

"Don't you say that," she cried. "Do not say that about our children, that they shouldn't be, as if they were some kind of mistake!"

He rose up across from her, putting his hands on her shoulders. She nearly went to strike him, and he grasped her wrists in his hands. After a moment, she realized there was nothing she could do against his much greater strength, and she subsided, glaring at him. Bedelia allowed him to guide her back to her chair, but she still fumed with rage.

"That is not what I meant, and I am sorry." There was real regret in his voice, so she would believe him for the moment, but still she watched him, suspicious now.

"I didn't mean that they are mistakes. I meant that... Bedelia, I was taught that marriage comes first, followed by children who are born into a safe and stable place. That troubles me, and there may be problems down the line..."

She started to argue again, but his next few lines stopped her cold.

"But right now...there is nothing we can do but enjoy each other. We should simply enjoy what we have right now, Bedelia. I am tired of holding myself back from you. There is simply so much between us that we want, that I am almost afraid that I need."

It took her another moment to find her voice.

"What are you saying?" she whispered.

"Until the children are born...I want everything back the way it was. I want to be with you. I want to forget that the last few days took place.”

It was everything she should have wanted, but somehow, she found herself objecting. “But they did happen. We can't erase them. We are the people that we are because of what happened.”

“I know,” he said, and he looked straight into her eyes. She was startled when she saw a hint of pleading there. It shook her to the core, seeing that there was something he wanted that she could grant him like this.

“What are you asking me?” she asked, finally sitting back down. She felt as if her skin was buzzing with electricity. She felt as if at any moment, she might have simply toppled over from too much exhaustion, too much stimulation, simply too much.

For a moment, Jahin only looked at her, his eyes lit up with that light she had always thought of as dragon fire. He was impossible to read right now, and before he even started to speak, she was grinding her hands together, trying to figure out what was coming forward.

"I want you," he said softly. "Pure and simple."

"There's nothing pure and simple between us," she commented with some bitterness. "Not after I ran away. Not after you decided to hold me here and tried to steal our children."

He waved his hand, and she fell silent. Bedelia noticed there was something in him that was no longer angry. He was tired, and a part of him longed for her, but right then, the rage that had been such an obvious part of their dealings for so long was banked.

"I know that very well," he said with a shrug. "I know that better than you do, I think. For the past few days, I feel as if I have been nothing more than a victim of my emotions. I have been pushed here and there by my head, my heart, by you, by everything that I know is true."

She could at least understand that. Some part of her was pleased that she was not alone in all of this. Another part of her was confused as to how they could ever get through this, together or apart.

"I want a clean slate," Jahin said finally. "I...I do not know if this is a cowardly thing to ask, and I certainly do not know if it is something that will harm us in the future, but right now, that is what I want most."

"A clean slate," Bedelia said, looking at him. She saw nothing but honesty in his face, no ploy, nothing that was going to rear up and bite her if she wasn’t careful. "Tell me what you mean by that."

"I want to stop being angry," Jahin said simply. "I want to simply be with you, and to be a part of things. The children that you are carrying, they are my firstborn. They are...they will be part of my legacy, whether they stay in Muneazil or they return to the United States as citizens."

She frowned at him. "You are...willing to let them make their own choice?"

"I am inclined in that direction," he said. "I stayed up last night thinking, and I am not sure if I received more than a few hours of sleep. I told myself that I am going to have children; I do not want to be at war with their mother."

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