Page 90 of The Single Dad Project

“Thanks, Moe.”

Before she could change her mind, she made her way down the hall, through the kitchen and mudroom and out onto the back porch. She paused in the doorway and studied the man who had been her first father figure and her first heartbreak. He sat in one of the rocking chairs, head bent, completely engrossed in his book.

“Hi, Noah,” she said, stepping out onto the deck.

He looked up, his surprise morphing into a smile, albeit a hesitant one, as he rose to his feet.

“Flo?” He took a step toward her, then stopped. “Hi. I didn’t expect to see you.”

He ran a hand over his short hair, and she recognized the telltale gesture for what it was. Noah was unsure, nervous.

Well, that made two of them.

“Do you want to have a seat?” He waved the book he still held toward the second rocking chair right next to the one he’d just occupied. “Or were you looking for Ian? You probably are.” He cleared his throat, rubbed a hand over his hair again. “He’s out in the workshop with Wolf—”

“Actually, I was looking for you. To talk, if you have a moment?”

A smile brightened his face and eyes. “Of course, yes. I would love to.” He moved to the adjacent chair and waved to the one he’d vacated. “Please, sit.”

Flo lowered to the rocker, and for the space of several heartbeats, neither spoke, just gazed at each other.

“I’m so glad you—”

“I wanted to talk to you—”

They both abruptly cut off, stared at each other then smiled. Was hers as nervous as his appeared? She wouldn’t be surprised if it was, given the swarm of butterflies in her belly and chest.

“Sorry.” He dipped his chin. “You go first.”

“I—” God, why was this so hard? She folded her hands in her lap, her spine so stiff it didn’t even meet the back of the rocker. Realizing how ridiculous she must look, she loosed a self-deprecating chuckle. “This seemed so much easier in my head. I had everything I wanted to say planned out. Now...” She flattened her hands on her thighs, aware she was fidgeting.Stop that.“Now it’s just a jumbled mess.”

“Just go with your gut and be honest,” Noah quietly advised. “It doesn’t have to be pretty, only the truth.”

Flo nodded, but it still took her a few seconds before she could begin to articulate the thoughts crowded into her head like an old storage unit. Hell, most of the stuff there had been cooped up for years and needed to be unpacked.

Or thrown away.

“I was talking to Cole earlier,” she began, first haltingly, then, after a deep breath, the words started to emerge in an undammed rush. “And he mentioned something that stuck with me. He spoke about his grief after his wife and son died. Of course I knew what he experienced—we all went through it with him, but until today, I never did connect that with...you. Maybe I wasn’t ready to hear it, or it could be my heart just wasn’t open and prepared to receive it until now, but I started thinking about you, and how losing my mother must’ve devastated you. Just like it did Cole.”

Noah didn’t reply, but he swallowed hard. And he closed his eyes for a long second, and when he reopened them, a sheen glistened in the blue-gray depths. That was all the answer she needed.

“Here—” she tapped her temple “—I understood you grieved her. From all the stories Moe and Dad have told me, you were very much in love, and that went both ways. But here?” She splayed her fingers over her chest, directly over her heart. “I was too angry, too hurt, to completely grasp just how much that loss would level you. I know how much it has affected me, and I only have vague memories and some boxes of her things to connect me to her. You had all of her, and your memories are probably as bright and vivid today as they were twenty years ago.”

“She was a uniquely amazing woman. I knew from the moment I first laid eyes on her, she would be my wife.” He smiled, and it contained so much love, so much pain that it was almost hard to view. Even after all these years, he still mourned her. “Now, your mom, not so much. I had to do some major wooing. But it made sense. She didn’t just have her to worry about, but you. And you were always her first concern and priority. And both of you were worth the time and effort.”

She’d assumed that, from the stories about her biological mother, but hearing it from Noah, who’d been her husband, love and friend? It hit different and deep. And she appreciated him sharing that with her.

“I’ve been...angry with you for a long time,” she softly admitted. “And I...” She trailed off, oddly not wanting to hurt his feelings, but needing to be honest.

“I know you are, Flo,” he said just as softly—gently. “And it’s okay to tell me that. I deserve your anger and your truth.”

She nodded. Yet, a couple of moments passed before she continued.

“You left me. Even though you gave me the best family and parents in the world, you were the one who married my mother, became my father and promised to love and protect me just as you made the same vow to her. And then you were just gone. It’s bothered me all these years that I was so easy for you to walk away from, so easy to abandon. And it made me question if there was something about me that wasn’t good enough to make you stay. To make you fight for me.”

When his lips parted, probably to object or try and explain, she held up a hand, halting him.

“I don’t need you to apologize, Noah. Or feel bad. I needed to tell you so I could get to why I’m here.”

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