Page 21 of Violent God

“That’s ridiculous. I’ll tell them that you are.”

“I don’t mean this the way it’s going to sound, but it won’t matter. Mr. Caruso is the one paying for the gown…”

So it’s his opinion that matters. Or, in this case, Gia’s opinion.

I bite back a sigh and say, “Well, it’s not like I have to get it just because I try it on, right?

***Two weeks later ***

My steps are slow and calculated as I make my way down the aisle, mostly because this dress is so tight that I can barely walk. The shapewear I’m wearing under the dress cuts into my skin, stopping me from catching my breath. Each inhale reminds me that my chest is tight. Each exhale is nothing but pain because of all the rhinestones. Fitting, really. Because this relationship has been nothing but painful.

My father tugs on my arm, making me walk faster, which, again, is difficult. He’s smiling like he’s the proudest father ever. What a freaking joke. He’s only happy because as soon as I say, ‘I do’, Giosuè is going to write him a check for the money he owes. I glance at my dad out of the corner of my eye. He’s so good at fooling everyone around him, but I’ve seen the real monster that lies within. He glances at me, as if sensing my gaze, so I look away.

Our last conversation is too fresh in my mind, and I can’t keep the mask on when his words are dancing around my mind.

Words that were meant to barb, which they did.

“Second thoughts?” my father scoffed. “Isabetta, you’re lucky he wants to marry you.”

“What you mean is you’re lucky. You’re the one getting something out of this.”

His gaze narrowed. “Careful, girl. I’d hate for you to run into a door so close to the wedding.”

What he really meant is that he would hit me if I didn’t stop talking. My stomach dropped and I took a step away from him. Just in case.

He smiled.

“You’re going to marry Caruso. That’s all there is to it.”

“But—”

He moved in, crowding me until my back was pressed against the living room wall.

“Who else is going to want someone like you. Hmm? I’m all ears. From what I can see, not one man has shown interest in you. Not that I blame them.” His gaze roamed down my body. “You’re fat. You don’t take care of yourself. No man wants you at his side and if they do it’s because they’re getting something out of marrying you.”

His words reminded me of something he’d never answered.

“And what is Giosuè getting out of marrying me, father?”

“None of your god damn business. Now, drop it. If you don’t, then you can’t say I didn’t warn you…”

Blinking, I swallow down the bile that’s threatening to creep up my throat. The church is packed, but I don’t see a single person I know. Who are all of these people? I know it’s not all Giosuè’s family. So are they work associates? Paid actors? Some of them look rough, like they do shady things on the side.

Giosuè stands at the front, smiling, though I know it’s fake. Everything about him is fake. His wealth. His kindness. His persona. All lies.

My breath hitches.

I can’t do this.

I can’t marry him.

My father’s fingers dig into my arm, close to breaking the skin. I wonder what he’d do if I just pulled away and ran? Nervous laughter bubbles its way up my throat and comes out sounding like a small squeak. If anyone hears me, they’ll think I’m overcome with joy. They’d never suspect the opposite. That I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

We reach the altar and Giosuè holds out his hand for me to take. I look at it before looking up at him. A look flickers in his gaze in warning. He’s telling me I better not make a scene.

Looking to the left, my gaze lands on Gia. She insisted on being my Maid of Honor, even though she’s the last person in the world I’d pick, but it was easier to agree than to put up a fight. I mean, it’s not like I have anyone who could stand at my side. Where my dress is hideous, hers is beautiful. It’s like the dress I tried on a few weeks ago when she said I looked fat. Only the one she’s wearing is gold instead of white. Behind her are three of Giosuè’s cousins, none of whom I know. They, too, wear gold.

I hate gold.

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