Ah fuck.
“I really need to know,” I said. “Are you my boyfriend, or my sugar daddy, or my Dom or what?” I said, looking at the table. “I have no fucking idea.”
He blinked, looking like a confused rabbit. Then he reached for my hand. I hesitated, but I gave it to him. “Toby, I’d honestly like to be all those things.”
His words and the hand-holding tipped my already precarious emotions over the edge. I blinked back tears as I gazed at him, then cursed with embarrassment and took my hand away.
“Sorry. I’m sorry,” I babbled, wiping at my face.
He furrowed his forehead with concern. “Hey. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I’m just— I’m trying to find a room to rent. And I just saw an apartment that would be perfect, if the other guy wasn’t a total stranger and the room was bigger than a postage stamp and not underground.” I took a deep breath. “I can’t stay at Esther’s forever.”
I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes.
“Has Esther asked you to leave?” Alastair asked.
“Not yet,” I said, “But I think she’s starting to wonder when I’m getting off her couch.”
Alastair was silent. I opened my eyes to find him regarding me with serious contemplation.
“What?” I asked.
“You know, I have a spare room,” he said.
For a long moment I wondered why he was bragging about his swanky house in Old Ottawa South when I was sitting here almost homeless. Then I clued in—and I felt dizzy.
“What?” I said.
He shrugged. “You could move in with me.”
I stared at him. Had I heard him correctly?
“What?”
“Look, Toby. You need a room. You want to get out of this temporary situation, and you don’t want to go back to your mom’s, I take it.”
“Right but—it can’t be so simple.”
“Why not?”
“Alastair,” I said, putting a hand on his forearm and finally noticing his leather jacket. “Hey, is this new?”
“No, but I haven’t worn it in a while.”
“But it’s so cold out. You must be freezing!”
He shrugged. I think it was his signature move.
“I wanted to look sexy.”
“For me?” I said, fireworks exploding behind my eyes.
He gave me a look. “For everyone. Obviously.”
I laughed.
“Alastair,” I said. “Sweetheart— Can I call you that?”