Page 94 of Ward Willing
I don’t answer—Ican’t.
A pained sound escapes my lips when he turns it on to a medium level.
“Oh fuck,” I cry out, gripping the sides of the seat. “Please, Liam–”
“You’re so cute when you beg,” he says casually, as if he’s discussing the weather.
His indifferent tone makes this whole thingsomuch worse. It’s like he knows his detachment will affect me more than the forced orgasms, because it’s completely new to our dynamic. He’s letting his emotions get in the way and rule his decisions because this is all new to him. If I’m really going to teach him how to do this, I’m going to need to talk to him about it—but not right now.
He kicks the vibrations up a few levels, and I keen out loud. “I c-can’t,” I stutter, panting as my cunt grips the toy tightly, as warm arousal pools low in my belly yet again. “Please, not again.”
“You know what I want,” he says, driving forward. “I can do this all night if I have to. Full tank of gas, nowhere to go…”
God.
“Fine,” I whimper, circling my hips. “I’ll tell you.”
“Go on, then.” His voice is calm. Collected. Unaffected. It’s like he was made to do this. “For the record, once I knowwhyyou made such an egregious mistake, there will be another punishment for lying to me about something so important,” he grits out.
Gasping, my orgasm slams into me at his words, and though it feels incredible, it’s also mixed with guilt, embarrassment, shame, and a plethora of other emotions. I’m convulsing, begging him to stop it with harsh whispers on my tongue, when he pushes the button for the vibrator to stop. I’m nearly sobbing, my breath catching in my throat with every inhale. Everything is raw—my nerves, my body, my emotions, my mind…
What if I tell him and lose him?
But what if Idon’ttell him and lose him?
“I wanted y-you,” I gasp out. “I didn’t want you to s-stop that night. I’d wanted you for y-years, and you werefinallymine, finally giving me e-everything I ever wanted.” I snap my mouth shut before I admit more than I’m willing to share.
Tears track down my cheeks as Liam swears and pulls over, stopping the car. I’m flooded with emotions—from the orgasm, my confession, or the events of the day. Everything is catching up with me, and before I realize it, I’m sobbing.
“Fuck, Zoe,” Liam growls, unbuckling me, tugging on my arm, and pulling me onto his lap. My legs bracket his hips, and his hands come to my face.
I squeeze my eyes shut as more tears spill down my face. “I was worried if I t-told you, that you’d stop. I would’ve rather had the pain because if you stopped, it would’ve b-broken me,” I confess.
“Zoe, look at me.”
“No,” I whisper, not wanting to see his expression. I don’t know if I can handle the rejection, or worse, if I can handle him breaking off whatever this thing between us is.
His warm hand skims along my bare thigh, and I shiver in his arms. Every nerve ending is frayed, and his touch isn’t helping things. Before I can react, his hand is between my legs, and I gasp when he pushes my soaking underwear to the side and pulls the vibrator out.
The absence of it only makes me cry harder. I recognize this feeling, and I know exactly what’s happening.Emotional release.The multiple forced orgasms, the lack of limits or talking things through… we didn’t exactly go about this in the healthiest way. Still, that knowledge doesn’t make it any better. Everything is so tender, and his gentle caresses only enhance the feeling of shame and guilt.
“Look at me.Please.”
He wipes my tears away with his fingers, and one of his hands comes to my back, slipping under my blouse and resting against it, pressing my body into his. He kisses my chin, which only makes a tight squeak escape my throat.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “If that was too much, I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I wanted you; whether or not I was ready to admit it or not is another story. Your feelings were never one-sided.”
Relief floods me, and I open my eyes, but I don’t look up at him. Not yet. Not while my emotions are all over the place. I need to get a grip. I need to quell my anxiety, to tamp down the need tobewith him, to be near him, touching him. Because that’s all I can think about. His fingers twitch against my bare back, and my nerves explode again as goosebumps cover my skin.
“That night in Catalina was an unleashing for me, little rebel. You pushed me, but I crossed that line myself. And despite telling myself that I could stay away, well… it turns out that I can’t. No matter how much I try.”
Each word clings to one of my wild emotions, settling my scattered mind with every syllable. It’s the most potent feeling of relief, and my body sags against his fully.
Liam’s voice grounds me completely, and despite feeling wrung out, I’m also comforted. His fingers caress the skin against my spine as he continues, taking my silence as a sign to keep talking.
“When I told you that day in my classroom that you were going to be the death of me, this is what I meant. You… me… it’s been us against the world for four years, and I’m terrified of fucking this up and losing you.”
I move and press my lips against his without thinking. He groans, one hand flying to my hair and fisting it. Except, instead of the wanton need from earlier, this feels like we’re sealing some kind of silent agreement.
