Page 22 of Ward Willing
And then I feel so guilty that I avoid her completely for days afterward.
When I open my eyes, Zoe is watching me with furrowed brows. “Why do you want to go? You’ve never offered to take me to a gig before.”
Aside from eating dinner and breakfast together,sometimes, that is, Zoe and I don’t really hang out. That’s mostly my fault. After Catalina, she started her freshman year at Crestwood, and I took on extra classes to teach in order to avoid being home alone with her. And all of her free time was spent doing schoolwork, hanging out with friends, and keeping herself busy.
The night in Catalina was forgotten. We moved on, forming a comfortable alliance. I never tried to ask for more, never pried into her life, except when needed. We were roommates more than anything.
“I enjoyed going to shows back in my day,” I tell her, lips twitching.
She gives me a small smile. “Fine. I’ll allow your help just this once. And for what it’s worth…” She sighs audibly. “I really appreciate everything you do. Even when you’re an overbearing pain in the ass.”
I huff a laugh. “I can’t help it.”
“Oh, before I forget, here’s the receipt from yesterday,” she says, pulling it out of her back pocket.
She’s been carrying it around since yesterday?
My lips twitch as I take it from her, unsure if she’s defying me again or if I’m actually going to find food on this receipt. My eyes narrow as I unfold it, scanning the words as they start to make sense to me.
“This is a receipt for a nail salon,” I say slowly. “That’s not what we agreed on.”
“No, you said to bring you a receipt. So, I brought you a receipt.”
I swear to god…
She leans back and places both hands on the counter behind her, elbows bent. My eyes skirt down for half a second on their own, taking in the bare slice of skin that’s exposed above her belly button.Fuck.I snap my eyes back to hers, and she has her lower lip between her white teeth.She caught me looking.Clearing my throat, I take a step away and run a hand through my hair. It’s not worth fighting this time, but I make a mental note to be more precise going forward.
Especiallyif she’s going to exhaust me and push my buttons.
“You should get some sleep,” I say sternly. I walk backward, deciding to do the dishes tomorrow when it’s safer and I’m alone. “You have an early morning.”
“Okay.” Her eyes flick between mine, like she’swaitingfor something.
I don’t indulge her.
“Goodnight, Zoe,” I tell her, turning around and leaving the kitchen.
CHAPTERTHREE
THE STORM
Zoe
It’s past two in the morning by the time I finish my essay, but my brain is seemingly never tired enough for sleep, only caving when I give into pure, unadulterated exhaustion.
I don’t remember what it’s like tonotbe tired.
But, between school and Scotty and my friends, whom I’ve been seeing less of lately thanks to my school load, I hardly have time for anything.
I’m the one planning all the munches and meetups—hanging with Orion, the other life stylers, Layla, or Scotty. I’m also a part of the mock trial club at Crestwood University, and that eats up three evenings a week. Not to mention keeping up on my LSAT studying.
It’s easier to keep moving—to stay busy—than to sit andthink.Because what usually ends up happening is that I imagine a future without my parents. Weddings without a dad to walk me down the aisle. Having kids without the insight of the two people who raisedme.Being successful and having no one here to thank or text or call…because they’re gone.
It scares me so much that sometimes I think I’d rather join them than live without them.
I take a deep breath and get ready for bed, ignoring the call of my desktop computer, though I know what Iwantto be doing. Before I know it, my thoughts are running away from me, pulling me into a project I started and abandoned a million times, the one thing I look forward to whenever I have some down time. After I’m ready for bed, I walk to my desk and open the document I’ve been slowly adding to for years.
It started as something to work on after my parents died, but it consumed most of my free time last year. I hardly had time to work on it, but when I did…when I felt that spark of inspiration…it was one of the best feelings in the world.
