Page 147 of Ward Willing
And sometimes, it doesn’t seem real.
It’s a fairytale of my own making.
“I guess I’m worried it’s all too good to be true. You, my book, our life…” I take a steadying breath. “It’s everything I’ve ever wanted, right at my fingertips, and I worry it’s all going to disappear one day.”
Liam makes a sound of acknowledgement but doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he holds me close as the anxiety works through me.
“I don’t know if this helps, but when I think about the future and how good it sounds, I let myself enjoy it. I can’t predict the future–you and I both know that anything can happen at any time, but Idobelieve that you and I have gone through the worst hell imaginable. Literally people’s worst nightmares. I think the human soul can recover from a lot of different traumas, but the death of a loved one is something we never recover from.”
My throat clogs with emotion from his words, and my fingers curl around his vintage All American Rejectsshirt.
“You’re right,” I say, my voice thick with unshed tears.
He maneuvers us so that we’re facing each other, and then his hands come to either side of my face.
“It’s you and me against the world, baby girl. Never forget that. No matter what happens, you’ll have me.”
Another one of my worst fears unlocks inside of my brain, and I can’t help it when a tear rolls down the side of my face.
“I mean, realistically, you’ll die before me because you’re so much older than me.”
I don’t mean for it to come out so bluntly. Liam’s eyes flash with amusement before he laughs, his head thrown back and a large smile on his gorgeous face.
I wipe my tears away as I laugh with him.
“Well, I promise to haunt your sexy ass for eternity then.”
“Promise?” I ask, my voice breaking.
“Zoe, there’s no reality—in this life or the next—where I won’t want to spend my days right next to you. You. Are. It. For. Me. Haven’t you ever wondered why I never dated around? Never married anyone? Chase was nearly ten years younger and proposing, and then Miles got together with Stella… I thought something was wrong with me. But I think the universe was making me wait for you.”
A sob cleaves through my chest, and as I reach out for his face, a clap of thunder startles me out of my romantic trance.
Instinctively, I sit up, eyes wide as I frantically look around.
The previously orange sky is now a dark, cloudy grey, and a second later, large raindrops fall from the sky.
“Liam—”
Another clap of loud thunder makes me jump up, and my heart races as people scatter. I reach down for my purse, assuming we’ll want to take cover somewhere, but Liam comes to stand next to me.
The rain is so loud, and the band continues performing. A few people start to laugh and dance around, and though my heart is galloping a mile a minute inside of my chest, I can’t help but smile when I see them.
“Take my hand. Let’s wait the storm out and enjoy it.”
I reach out for his hand, and then I look up and close my eyes, letting the rain fall against my face. Before I know it, I’m half-laughing, half-sobbing. Another crack of thunder so loud it has the ground vibrating underneath me turns it into full sobs.
Not terrified sobs, though; it’s almost cathartic.
Before I know it, we’re both soaked through, and the rain doesn’t relent.
This is how my parents died,I think, saying it out loud in my mind.It’s okay to miss them, but I don’t have to be scared of storms anymore.
Liam pulls me into his firm body, arms wrapped tightly around me. “They would be so fucking proud of you,” he says against my forehead.
I squeeze my eyes shut as his words wash over me. He’s always been so good at deciphering my emotions—always knows exactly what I need. My hands grip the fabric of his shirt as another thunder clap sounds over us, and I let myself feel it. I let myself cry and get anxious and getangrythat my parents are gone, and I allow myself to feelso fucking excitedabout the future. I let all the emotions roll over me, and to my surprise, the grief hurts but doesn’t cripple me like it used to.
The gaping wound has turned into a tolerable, hollow ache.
