Page 76 of Marry Lies
I smile. “I know.” Looking down at the ground again, I think back to the night we met. How he seemed…different.More brusque and guarded, sure. But also…kind. Maybe a little bit fun. “I just don’t know how to get him to open up to me. It’s like pulling teeth.”
Liam laughs. “My advice?” I nod, and he continues. “Don’t force it. Just continue being around him. Talk to him. Get to know him. Once you’re in, you’re in for life. It’s laughable to think that in a year—” He shakes his head. “I don’t foresee him letting you go. That’s all.”
I only have you for a year.
Miles’s words from two nights ago reverberate in my mind.
“Thanks, Liam. We’ll see what happens.”
Chase and Juliet both said the same thing, but so far, I haven’t seen that side of my husband.
“You’re doing great, Stella. Just take care of yourself, okay?”
I nod and smile. “I will. Thank you for the food. I don’t normally have an appetite during these episodes, but the soda is delicious,” I offer, giving him a small smile.
“Anytime.”
Standing up, he gestures to my uneaten cheeseburger. “I’ll put this in the fridge for you in case you get hungry later.”
I nod. “Perfect.”
He cleans up the bag and his food, looking down at me. “I find that baby steps help. One foot in front of the other. Maybe today, it’s a shower. Tomorrow, it’s going downstairs.”
I laugh. “Do I smell that bad?”
He chuckles. “No. I just mean, focusing on one thing helps me. Don’t worry about anything else. Just get in that shower. I think you’ll find that autopilot can sometimes lead your mind and body taking over again. Just give yourself grace, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you.”
He smiles and walks out, leaving me to contemplate the enormous task of standing up, walking to the bathroom, and turning the water on.
By the time I’m done and my body is clean, I am exhausted, so I crawl back into bed before falling into a deep, restorative sleep.
One foot in front of the other.
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
THE AUDIOBOOK
Stella
It takes me a couple of days, but by Wednesday, I’m feeling back to myself. Waking up to Miles’s warm, heavy arm around me certainly helps—though neither of us acknowledge his presence in my bedat all. I don’t think we manage to utter a single word to each other all of Monday and Tuesday. He just shows up after work and crawls into bed with me. In the mornings, he leaves to get ready for work, and we don’t talk about it.
My memories of the last few days are haze–filled with bright light, a cool breeze, warmth, and knuckles brushing across my spine.
I wake up late on Wednesday, and take the longest shower I’ve ever taken, making sure to brush my hair, shave my legs, and really scrub my face. It feels good to have energy again. Towantto do things again. I change into a mustard yellow sweater dress, quickly drying my hair with a diffuser. I know Miles is at work, so I head downstairs and make myself a double portion of oats. I haven’t had an appetite for days, subsisting on only water, but now?
I’m ravenous.
Instead of forcing myself to walk today, I decide to take it easy. Over the last year, I’ve discovered that slowly easing back into my routine is the best course of action. Today, showering and getting dressed will have to be my only accomplishments—and that’s fine with me. I’m taking Liam’s advice and giving myself grace. Placing my headphones in, I turn on a raunchy book about a pleasure Dom, smiling when I realize lounging around and listening to smut is exactly what the doctor ordered.
As I sip my tea and eat my large bowl of oats, I lean against the kitchen counter as I listen, grinning at a particularly spicy part.
It’s nice to feel back to normal.
As horrible as my episodes are, the days after an episode always seem to be my best days. I know, physically, it’s because my serotonin is out of whack, but still. My emotions may be see-sawing, but I’d be damned if I didn’t enjoy the good days as best as I can. Especially when I never know when a bad day will hit.
As I set my phone down to wash my bowl, the Bluetooth cuts out, and I realize with a start that the audiobook is playing out loud on my phone at full volume. Because my hands are wet, I let it run.
