Page 6 of Imogen

Two years ago, my love life was in a shambles, and I was asked to take a package over to Ben’s. A beautiful woman answered the door, and she was everything I wasn’t. It made me realise Ben would never look at me in a romantic way. She had a stunning figure and beautiful facial features. Even in a T-shirt—that clearly wasn’t hers—she outshined me.

That was the day I finally took my relationship with Zach to the next level and we became a couple. I had someone who wanted me, and a part of me wanted to want him. I wanted to want someone who wasn’t Ben Donovan. And it wasn’t like Zach made me miserable. I love being with him. We’re good together.

Or we were.

Every day since we got together, there’s been a missing piece inside of me. It’s not because I don’t love him. I think in my own way, I do. He just doesn’t make my stomach flutter, and I’m never excited to see him.

Like today. I told him I had plans with my family for my birthday, but instead, he chose to go around me and talk to my mum about cancelling them.

He brought me to a lavish restaurant, where the food is out of my comfort zone, and I probably won’t eat. I could have been eating a triple whopper burger at my favourite beef house. Instead, I’m here.

It’s not the first time he’s done something like this. He loves me and wants to be with me, but he makes me feel invisible. He never used to act like this. And the more I let him get away with his actions, and the more I let snide comments pass, the more I lose of myself. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t recognise the woman who stares back at me in the mirror.

I stare at Zach again, trying to conjure up feelings that I just don’t feel anymore. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s been my best friend, my first, and my boyfriend for a couple of years. He’s saved me from heartbreak and humiliation after every breakup or incident in my life.

But somewhere along the way, he lost me.

I’ve been trying to break it off with him for nearly a year now—ever since he began to change. His change in behaviour made me realise my feelings never went past what I feel for my other friends. And every time I came to the conclusion I couldn’t fix this between us, it’s like he knew it was coming. He would change and say something sweet, or remind me he is all I’ll ever have.

I’m not this person though. I don’t string people along. But there is just something about Zach that stops me from speaking the truth. And maybe that is love. I don’t know.

Or maybe I don’t want him to hurt the way I hurt when Ben let me down.

I do know this isn’t fair to him or to me. I didn’t want it to come to this but today has proved it’s my only choice.

He reaches across the table to take my hand, pulling me from my thoughts.

“So, your new game is a big deal,” he remarks, trying to keep the conversation going.

I rub at my temple, feeling a headache brewing. “Yeah. Only a few of us have access to the data until the launch. There are too many companies who would do anything to get their hands on this game. It’s going to be good.”

He lets out a breath, smiling as he gazes around the lavish restaurant. “I bet you didn’t think you’d be in a restaurant as nice as this,” he announces.

I just want to go home. I haven’t even had a chance to spend time with my dad because he left really early this morning. “No, I thought I’d be with my family, eating a burger.”

“You don’t want to eat that crap. I’ve told you before, if you want to lose those hips, you need to lose the chips.” He laughs at his own joke.

All I do is feel more self-conscious. I’m not overweight by any means, but I do have wide hips, a big arse, and tits. They are insecurities I know most people won’t complain about, but his littlejokesmake me feel worse about them.

“Zach,” I begin, needing to just get this over with.

He squeezes my hand. “It’s not only our six-year anniversary, but—”

“We’ve been together for two,” I remind him.

He waves me off. “We’ve been together longer than that and you know it. It’s the best choice you could have made. We fit together. You know what I need and I know what you need.”

He has no clue what I need.

“Zach, I—”

“I think it’s time to show everyone how serious we are together. You’ve got your new job now, and I’ll be finished with my law degree soon.”

Dread hits my stomach at where this is going. Or at least, where I think it’s going. “I don’t feel too good,” I manage to choke out, just as he says, “I think we should move in together.”

Oh God, no.

“Zach…” My phone rings and I quickly dig it out of my bag.

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