Page 12 of Twice the Love

By the way Maddox tensed, I had hit the metaphorical nail right on its head. I decided to try and break down my thoughts on it with him without being overly blunt. “We were aware it could happen because of the intimacy of our relationship. Back then, we were both open to the idea of sharing her heart, mind, and body. If she does have feelings for you, do you still want to pursue having an open relationship or has time changed your mind?” I asked. I had done so much research before bringing Maddox into our family. Almost all the couples I talked to had assured me that they’d become romantic even though they started out strictly platonic. I never imagined I would “share” my babygirl, but I had to admit she thrived having both of us in her life.

“Would it be a bad thing?” he asked as he finally met my gaze. The look of fear hidden deep within his green eyes hurt me. How had I missed that he was suffering this badly?

“If you had feelings for her?”

“No. If I loved her?” He gazed at the bar and traced the wood design with his finger.

I set my beer down and grabbed his barstool, turning him to face me. “No. It wouldn’t be a bad thing. It would never be a bad thing.”

He struggled to swallow his emotions. “You’re my best friend, and I fell in love with your wife,” he managed. “You invited me into your family, and I fell in love with your fucking wife.”

I reached forward and gripped his shoulders before making him look me in the eye. “Yes, but I’m so thankful she has you in her life. I’m thrilled that you love her too, Maddox. How could you not? She’s sweet, sensitive, silly, and beautiful. You are my best friend. And you did fall in love with my wife, but that’s not a bad thing. Maddox, I know you don’t see it, but you made our family complete.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks, and I wondered how much lighter he felt getting that off his chest. How long had he been carrying the weight of such a heavy secret? Was my baby girl carrying the same secret?

“I am so sorry, Travis,” he said.

“I’m not sorry, Maddox. Not even a little bit.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but we were interrupted as Dallas came running to us with the nursery monitor following closely on her heels. “Something’s wrong with Raegan!”

Chapter Seven

Maddox

I wanted to collapse with relief when Travis told me he wasn’t upset. Then I wanted to vomit. And now I just wanted to get to Reagan. We raced out of the bar and down the narrow hall into the nursery. Travis got to her first and hit his knees in front of her. I wasn’t far behind him.

“Hey, baby love, what’s wrong? Can you talk to us?”

“Can’t breathe,” she croaked.

I gently moved Emily out of my way and knelt next to Reagan. Travis placed his hands on her knees, and I rubbed her chest with my palm. Occasionally, pressure could calm anxiety—it was one of the reasons so many people enjoyed weighted blankets.

“You can breathe. You can,” Travis assured her. “Your body is lying to you, baby.”

“Breath with us,” I said as we worked to sync our breathing.

“In. Out. In,” Travis coached.

She grabbed our hands with hers and worked to follow our orders.

“Good job, baby. You’re doing so good for us.” He kept applying pressure to her knees.

I noticed the strands of blond hair hanging from her fingers and I made sure she was focused on Travis before gently unwrapping them. Once I had them free, Emily took them from me and discretely showed me a pile in her own hand. She then pointed to the back of her head. I nodded and mouthed, “Thank you,” before she ran off to dispose of the hair.

Reagan was incredibly sensitive about all aspects of her anxiety, but she was the most sensitive about her hair pulling. She didn’t even realize she was doing it, but on really bad days, she would rip chunks of hair out. When I had started with them, she’d had hair extensions to help hide the bald spots, but she had been doing much better until recently.

We had to get this sorted before she completely relapsed. Three years ago, she’d lost so much weight you could see every knot in her spine. Her skin was dull and lifeless. We weren't letting that happen this time. We were a united front and we were never letting her slip to that dark place again.

“Good girl. Good girl,” Travis said as her breathing began to return to normal.

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I wanted you two to have a good night.”

“Every night is a good night with you in our lives, baby.,” I said.

“Even if we spend every night for the rest of our lives at home with you, we still would consider ourselves to be the luckiest men on earth, love,” Travis said softly.

“The luckiest men on earth," I confirmed.

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