Page 37 of Rules of the Heart

“What do I do about it, then?”

“You need to make a decision, Valerie. How bad is it being lonely and alone versus how bad it would be to lose someone you love?”

Lily’s pager beeped and she glanced down at it. “I’ve got to go. Think about it, Valerie.”

“Thanks, Lily.”

Valerie stared after Lily, deep in thought. Which was really worse? Living as she was or having her heart broken?

The more she thought about it, the more Valerie became convinced that her current course was the correct one. Sure, she wasn’t entirely happy right now, but she was certain that what she was feeling right now was a million times better than what she would feel if she was with Ella and then lost her.

It wasn’t like she was guaranteed a lifetime of happiness if she dated Ella. It could easily go wrong—a time of happiness in exchange for a lifetime of heartbreak if they broke up, or worst case, something happened to Ella.

No, it wasn’t worth the risk. Valerie would focus on her work, which had always fulfilled her. That would have to be enough.

Work wasn’t enough any more.

Valerie missed Ella so much it felt like a shard of glass in her vulnerable insides. She wanted what they had back. She couldn’t risk being in a relationship with Ella, but they could surely at least be friends. They could at least share their bodies together and be close in that way. The intimacy had been so valuable to Valerie.

So, she resolved to seduce Ella. She knew that Ella was attracted to her. Surely, it wouldn’t be that difficult.

Valerie planned it carefully. She made sure that her and Ella’s schedules were both clear before calling Ella to her office.

Ella knocked and waited.

“Ella, please come in.”

Ella stepped inside, watching Valerie warily. Her lovely eyes were more green than blue today and her hair was in a thick plait over her left shoulder.

“Please, sit down.”

Ella sat and Valerie walked around to the door, locking it. She pulled the cord to close the blinds on the window between her office and the corridor.

“I know we’ve spoken before about your fantasy of being taken over my desk. Well, here is your chance.” Valerie purred. Her connection with Ella had awoken the animal within her and apparently, it wouldn’t go back to sleep.

She swung one leg over the chair so that she was straddling Ella’s lap.

Valerie kissed Ella deeply, her hands running down Ella’s sides as Ella moaned and returned the kiss.

Valerie was just starting to think that this was going very well when Ella turned her face to the side.

“Valerie, wait. Stop.”

Valerie reluctantly pulled back. “I know you want this. Don’t deny it.”

“I do want this, but you also know I want more than this. I’m not going to settle for less anymore, Valerie. I deserve someone who can give me everything I want, and I’m not staying in a relationship that doesn’t give me that.”

A small, unbiased part of her knew that Ella’s point was valid, but Valerie’s hurt at the outright rejection outweighed such logical thoughts. She got off Ella’s lap and folded her arms. “Very well. Get out of here, Ella.”

“Valerie, don’t be like that. Don’t be mad. I miss you. I’d like us to try to be friends, at least.”

“Well, I’d like us to pick up where we left off, but we don’t always get what we want, do we?”

Ella stood up. Her eyes were flashing dark green and angry. “You’re being unreasonable!”

Valerie hated herself, but she couldn’t stop the response from spilling from her mouth. “No, you’re being unreasonable!”

The two of them stood there for a few seconds in stalemate, glaring at each other, before Ella turned and stalked out, slamming the door behind her. It was the most awful sensation of déjà vu. Valerie didn’t like it at all, but if Ella was going to be difficult about this, Valerie wasn’t going to be the first one to back down.

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