Page 23 of Rules of the Heart

It almost hurt to do, but Ella smiled at Valerie, took her food and left.

The next day, she worked her entire schedule around making sure that she had lunch at the same time Valerie did. She didn’t want to miss their lunch date, even though it wasn’t actually a date.

Valerie must have arranged her schedule carefully as well, because she was waiting in the cafeteria when Ella arrived.

They stood briefly in the line for food before taking a table together.

“How has your day been?” Valerie asked politely. Ella forced herself not to laugh, but it was difficult when she could probably count on one hand the number of polite things Valerie had ever said to her.

“It was pretty good. Fairly basic stuff, but necessary. The interns and residents learned a lot.”

“I’ve seen you work with them. You’re a really good teacher, Ella.”

Ella glowed under the praise. “Thanks. I was worried I wouldn’t be. You know, a lot of surgeons are excellent in their chosen fields but crap at teaching, and a lot of the best hospitals are teaching hospitals. I want to be good at all of my job, the teaching part included.”

“Well, you are. They all love you.”

“What about you? Do you enjoy the teaching part?”

“It’s satisfying, in its own way, but nothing will ever compare to surgery for me. There’s nothing like having a living heart in your hands, knowing that you are the only reason it’s beating.”

“I feel similarly. Seeing a patient walk or use fine motor functions that I know are only possible because I excised a tumor or otherwise saved their brain function… Well, it’s why I do my job. It’s why I love it.”

“What would you be if you couldn’t be a surgeon?”

The question took Ella by surprise, and she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to answer. “You’ll laugh.”

“I won’t.”

“Fine… I’d have been a lawyer.”

Valerie raised an eyebrow. “A lawyer?”

“A human rights lawyer,” Ella explained. “I’ve seen too many patients turned away from lifesaving treatments just because they couldn’t pay. If for some reason I couldn’t be a surgeon,I probably would have tried to save lives in a different way by tackling that injustice.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

“What about you? If you couldn’t be surgeon?”

“I guess I’ve never really thought about it. Being a surgeon is all I ever wanted. I don’t know who I’d be without my work.”

“I can understand that. I know that I help my patients, but I sometimes feel like I’d be the one who is lost without them.”

Valerie nodded. “Tell me more about yourself, Ella. We’ve been working together for weeks now, but I barely know anything about you. What do you do when you’re not working or volunteering in the clinic?”

“Well, those two things scarcely leave time for other hobbies.”

Valerie chuckled. “Don’t I know the truth of that. I manage to sneak in some reading now and then, but not nearly as often as I would like.”

“What kinds of things do you read?”

Valerie’s cheeks got slightly pink, but she answered anyway. “I’m a sucker for romance novels, actually. Which is ironic, given that I have no interest in romance personally.”

“Why not?”

Valerie hesitated. “I’ve tried it before, many times. I really wanted to find love, but it never worked out. My career always has been and always will be my first love. Most people don’t appreciate being put second to their partner’s job. Eventually, I gave up. There’s only so much heartbreak one person can take.”

Ella wondered if Valerie had ever tried dating another doctor who would understand the demands of the job but decided not to ask. She and Valerie were only just forming a tentative connection between them, after all, and she didn’t want to push too hard and break the thin thread they were creating.

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