Page 7 of Sin and Seduction

This time, I don’t let it sift through my fingers. I take a handful from the urn and close my fist around the pile of ash, taking deep breaths before opening my eyes and staring at the sun over the ocean.

“I can’t wait for it all. And I wish that I could take you with me, but I can’t. I have to release you so that I can live on. I have to make peace with this, so I have room to welcome everything in my life.” I open my fist and let the ashes drop into the ocean, the wave pulling them away in an instant.

Surprisingly, it doesn’t hurt to do that. In fact, it feels good enough to grab more fistfuls and drop those, too. Soon, the urn is almost empty. I smile at it before lifting it up, ready to tip the rest over after I say my last words to what remains of my mother.

“This is my gratitude and goodbye, mama. It’s my ‘I love you’ and ‘until next time.’” I tip the urn over and watch as the remaining pile of ashes fall out and into the wind and ocean, nature swallowing my mom whole and whisking her away to the horizon.

“Thank you,” I whisper as the waves pull her away from me, releasing us both.

I stand there and stare for a while, letting the sun dry my tears and the water kiss my feet. Before long, a hand lands on my shoulder, and I know it’s Dantes. I look over at him, a calm expression on his face as he gazes lovingly at me.

This is peace.I think. This is what I’ve been searching for all along. Peace and serenity in their purest forms.

It’s silent for a while, just Dante and me standing and holding one another, staring out at the ocean. Eventually, he clears his throat. His beard hair tickles my shoulder as he rests his head on me and speaks.

“So...a dog, huh?” is all he says, and I laugh.

“You’ve been standing here the whole time? Watching me?” I ask, and his eyes turn serious, filled with so much love and protection that it melts me.

“I’ve always been watching you, Emmie. I’ve always been right here.” He kisses my nose, and I bury my face into his throat, breathing in his dark, citrus scent.

“And I can’t wait to fight and make up with you, too,” he says, kissing along my neck. “I can’t wait to do that a lot.”

I sigh and lean back, staring at him. The sun lights up his dark eyes and hair; he looks wild and colorful like this. He looks a whole lot like home.

“I want to let you know that no matter where we live or go, I’ll be okay because my home is within you. I want to settle one day, I want my own business and my own dreams, but I am happy to go where you are, Dante. Always.” Something flashes in his eyes. They almost look glossy for a moment, like he was about to shed a tear, but didn’t.

He pulls me to him, wrapping me in a warm embrace as the sounds of the ocean echo around us. I turn my head and look at the sun once more.

“Mi ciela.”My sky.

“Nuestro cielo.”Our sky,I say before catching his lips in mine, kissing my husband as the sun beams around us.

* * *

We get back home, and I immediately have Javier wash my mom’s urn out as I venture to the garden. The first flowers I pick are her favorite: pink roses. I grab enough to fill the urn and walk them inside. Javier has filled it with water, and I thank him immensely, setting the flowers inside and setting them on the counter.

“I assume Dante has told you about our relocation. I’ll be sure to bring this as well as your recipe book,” he says kindly, and I thank him.

“Will you please fill this with fresh flowers while we’re in Columbia? I’m not sure how the garden is at the San Francisco house,” I say, and Javier laughs loudly, puzzling me.

“Sweetheart, the house there makes this one look like a condo. It always surprised me that Dante preferred to rent the Belvedere one out. I suppose this one here is much quieter.”

Jesus, how big is this new one?

“Belvedere? As in Belvedere Island? How big is this place?” I ask, and Javier pulls his phone out, scrolling through pictures before showing me a photo of a large, modern-style castle sitting on the cliffside of the ocean.

“It’s breathtaking.” I gasp, completely in awe of the beauty pictured before me.

I can tell the acreage is smaller, the house taking up most of the land, but the courtyard is filled with both statues and gardens. There’s a balcony with white fencing under almost every window. Javier is right; this house puts the country house to shame. It’s still older-looking like this one, but there’s so much brightness to it. I’ve instantly fallen in love.

“You’ll love the kitchen there. Very bright and open floor plan. With two ovens. I can see you doing a lot of baking there,” he says fondly, smiling at me.

“Do you miss having your own restaurant, Javi?” I ask suddenly, feeling sad that he’s confined to household kitchens and moving whenever Dante says.

He stares at me for a moment, a million emotions reflecting in his eyes. He blinks them away as he returns to arranging the flowers in the urn.

“Sometimes, I will admit. But I like the peace that Dante’s work brings me. Yelling out at cooks and staff gets old after a while.”

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