Page 54 of Tainted Empire (Sins of Our Father)

The flightto Seattle feels long mostly because I can’t stop crying. I hate that he’s turned me into this, into a walking pile of bones and vulnerability. Hunter Brooks has successfully broken my heart and ruined everything that not only my father worked for, but also what I’ve tried to maintain.

I didn’t tell my mom that I was coming back. I made Rob drive me to the airport and had to ignore his many attempts to get me to stay. I didn’t even tell Marley, something that hurts almost as much as my broken heart because she’s become my best friend and we opened a business together, but I know she can do it without me, thrive without me because at this point, I am never stepping foot back in that town ever again.

When my plane lands, I grab my bags, stuffed with everything that I could fit, and call an uber to take me to my mom’s. It’s evening now, so she’s definitely off work. As much as I need her comfort and presence, I also don’t want to tell her what happened. Partly because I went through with something she warned me not to do, so I know I could get anI told you sofrom her, but mostly because I don’t want to relive the pain that Hunter caused me this morning. Really, I just want to fall asleep for the next week. Ignore reality and drown in my self-pity.

The uber drops me off at her apartment and I climb the stairs with my heavy luggage and my even heavier heart, the tears rushing back to the surface when I reach the front door and knock. She pulls the door open, smiling when she sees me, but then frowning in concern when she looks at my tear-stained face.

“Oh, baby. Come here, what’s happened?” my mother says, pulling me into her embrace as I let the sobs rip free.

We stand like that for a while, her arms locked around me in the doorway as I cry into her neck, her hands rubbing up and down my back as I weep.

“Come on, honey, get inside. I’ll get your things,” she says, ushering me in as she grabs my luggage and closes the door.

“Sit down at the counter, I’ll make us some tea,” she says as I sit at the kitchen island and look around the large apartment that I’ve always called home, but suddenly it doesn’t really feel like home.

Cannon Falls felt like home. It was my home, until he ripped it all apart.

My mom sets a hot cup of tea down in front of me before taking her seat across the island, staring at me as she blows into her mug. I can’t move my hands from where they are knotted on my lap. All I can do is stare at the piping hot mug as a vast numbness spreads throughout my body.

“Ali, what’s happened? You have to talk to me,” she urges, still looking at me as I remain still, my heart crumbling inside of my chest.

I think of Hunter’s blue eyes, of his strong arms as they held me tight in his bed just hours ago. I think of the love that I thought I saw in them, of the hushed words and admissions he spoke in the quiet of his bedroom, my body still glowing from our lovemaking. Then I think of Ezra at my kitchen counter. I think of the agreement in his hands and the shame in Hunter’s eyes when I confronted him. When I think of that, my heart turns to dust.

“You were right,” I whisper, still not meeting her eyes.

“About what, baby?” she asks, but I can’t say the words.

I can’t voice my hurt or the situation that’s caused it. I can’t do anything.

“Abouthim,” I say, the dam in my chest breaking again as I cry silently in my mom’s kitchen.

She gets up and wraps her arms around me, rocking me gently as I cry it all out for the fifth fucking time today.

“I miss him, I miss Dad. I miss him so much, Mom. I can’t go back there, I just can’t,” I cry, and she hushes me.

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry,” she says, soothing me with her touch and the gentle sway of her body until my tears dry.

She pulls back, brushing a strand of my hair from my eye as she holds my cheek in her palm.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now. Why don’t you go and take a shower and I’ll make us some dinner? I’ll make your bed up for you, and in the morning we can discuss it, if you’re ready,” she says, staring at me until I nod.

I get up with shaky legs, walking to the bathroom and stripping down in a haze, my movements almost robotic. I step into the shower, standing under the warm spray for nearly an hour as I stare at the ceiling, nothingness spreading through my mind and all throughout my body.

When I get out, I dress in a pair of cotton pajamas my mom set on the bathroom sink. She’s made us her homemade chicken soup, a dish that’s always comforted me when I was upset or sick. I don’t eat much. I just swirl the yellow liquid around in the bowl as she eats across from me in silence. My body is exhausted and wracked from the day’s events, so I kiss her cheek and tell her that I’m going to bed.

My city apartment bedroom, once my safe haven and favorite place to be, now feels cold and empty compared to my room at the ranch. It’s too minimalistic, too city-like and doesn’t have that rustic charm, even though it’s still filled with my old books and records.

I lay on my twin sized bed, the comforter gray and plain and not as comfy. I turn my head into the pillow, waiting for sleep to finally claim me, but it never does.

44

I must have sleptfor at least three hours because when I open my eyes again, the city outside is assaulting me with the constant noise of honking cars and busy streets. I sigh, stretching my sore limbs out before I stand and check the time on my phone.

Both Marley and Hunter have called me a bunch, also texted several times, but I refuse to look at any of them right now. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle reading them and I’m not sure if I will ever have the strength to. After a few days’ time, I might be ready to call Marley and tell her that I won’t be returning. If she ever needs money or help, same with Earl and Claire, I can help from Seattle. Maybe even in another state. Maybe this is all a sign that I should be following my original dream of traveling the country and then the world. A dream I had before I let Hunter Brooks into my heart.

It’s Saturday, so my mom is off work. I walk out into the living room and find her sitting on the couch, phone pressed to her ear and a coffee in her hand. She meets my eyes and sighs, muttering into the phone before she ends the call.

“I’ll call you back after I speak to her, okay? We’ll figure all of this out,” she says before she sets her phone down on the coffee table and looks at me with weary eyes.

---