Page 31 of The Irish Rogue

“What else?”

She handed him a glass, then sat down on the sofa. She knew that she owed him information, but she wasn’t sure what he wanted to know.

“Well, he was eight pounds, two ounces when he was born. The doctor said–”

“What’s his birthday?” he demanded, interrupting her.

She realized that she should start at the beginning. “Declan was born early on the morning of March twentieth. My contractions started the day before, but it wasn’t until about four in the morning that they became consistent.”

“How did you get to the hospital?”

“I drove myself,” she admitted, trying not to remember the terror she’d felt during that drive to the hospital – and the prayers she’d whispered, praying Mick or one of his deputies didn’t catch her driving anywhere while in labor. “There wasn’t any other option.” She could tell that he didn’t like that answer, but continued anyway. She told him about Declan’s birth, coming home, and how Tom and Dorothy had bought her so many of the baby supplies, including taking her car to the police station to get the car seat properly installed. She pulled out her phone and showed him pictures of Declan as a newborn, then in the tiny outfits and onesies. He asked questions and she answered until Declan squawked, demanding food.

“I…umm…need to feed him.”

“Can I do that for you?”

Kennedi blushed, shaking her head. “He’s…uh…not big enough for solid food just yet. I…nurse him.”

Again, his eyes moved to her breasts and he nodded. Even licked his lips!

“Can I watch?”

She tried to be casual about it, but then realized that she wasn’t casual. “I’d rather do this alone.”

He nodded, then stood up before bending down to retrieve their son. Carefully, as if he were handing over crystal, he transferred Declan into her arms. Declan was already wiggling impatiently, knowing that his dinner was close by.

She thought about going into her bedroom, or even Declan’s room, where the small rocker was set up for exactly this reason. Late night feedings were easier when she was on a soft rocking chair.

“If you could just…turn away, I’ll do this in here so you can watch. But the first part is a bit…well…”

Sean walked into the kitchen and turned his back to her. Quickly, Kennedi released the buttons on her blouse and helped Declan latch onto her nipple. When he was nursing hungrily, Kennedi called out to Sean. “We’re fine now.”

Sean turned and looked over the counter, watching with fascination as Declan nursed voraciously. “Does it hurt?”

She shook her head, running her finger over his dark hair and soft cheek. “It did at first. But I wasn’t doing it right.”

He blinked at her, startled. “There’s a wrong way?”

“Oh yeah,” she laughed, remembering those long first nights. “If he doesn’t…well, latch on correctly, then it’s excruciatingly painful.”

He looked at her, his eyes hard. “And that hurt you?”

“Yes,” she whispered, then pulled her eyes away. “It’s easier now. But I’m looking forward to introducing him to solid food. Plus, he might sleep through the night more often.”

“How long does he sleep now?”

She shrugged, then soothed Declan. “Last night, he slept until about four o’clock this morning. I consider that sleeping through the night since he normally wakes up around one or two in the morning, then again a few hours later.”

“How much sleep are you getting?”

She smiled down at Declan. “Oh, we’re coping, aren’t we buddy?”

“It’s hard though, isn’t’ it?”

She looked up at him, startled by his perceptiveness. “Yes,” she admitted. “Most pregnancy and post pregnancy books talk about how miraculous being a new mom is. And itis,” she assured him. “But none of the books talk about how difficult it can be. They don’t warn new moms about the tears and the anger, the resentment, the pain of nursing, or the pain of coming home from the hospital.” She brushed away one of those tears. “It’s almost as if they have to lie about becoming a new mom, just so that they don’t scare the prospective moms off.”

“Is it really that bad?”

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