Page 53 of Toxic

“I got my period.” She shrugs looking beyond me to the garden. “It’s really bad. I’m bleeding too much. My cycle’s late.” She looks down at the linen duvet plucking nonexistent lint. “I-I think I’m losing our baby.” The last part sounds clogged with anguish.

Stunned, I do nothing other than stare at her for a long moment. Getting my phone out I make a call. “I need you to make a house call,” I say after he picks up on the second ring.

Less than an hour later, Lex Spencer is examining my wife and it is taking everything in me to keep my cool as I watch from the other side of the room.

“Takeda.” I meet his hard gaze. He nods me over. I go to the head of the bed and stand beside Taylor taking her small hand as she makes room for me to sit beside her on the bed.

“It’s as you suspected though we’ll have to have the lab to test the DNA to confirm it. Mrs. Takeda you suffered a miscarriage before your twelfth week. I’m sure if we did the math I’d say you were between six to eight weeks along,” he says grimly looking between us. A rough sob escapes Taylor as she buries her face in my chest. Smoothing her riot of curls I murmur, “It’s okay.” I don’t say any bullshit like we can try again or anything like that because it was never my intention to get her pregnant. Last I knew she had an IUD.

The worst thing I could do would bring a child into this world. I’ve never wanted children after the heartless cruelty I endured. Nature versus nurture always speculates about souls like me and in my case it was definitely both. My nature was to nurture a cold monster and I know I have the capacity for much worse. I could create an army of heartless sadists and psychopaths no different than my ancestors. It would break Taylor and that I will not do even for the Takeda legacy.

Lex watches as I hold her. He’s not far off the mark from me. I hear his brother who died was the nice twin. Not this motherfucker. He’s rumored to be as much a killer as healer when he was on the battlefield. Dr. Feelgood indeed. What an oxymoron. Still, I can tell his concern is for my captive wife.

“When can you replace her IUD?” I ask him over the crown of Taylor’s head.

“Hisashi?” She pulls back, her luminous eyes filled with pain and betrayal.

“No?” I ask dumbfounded.

She shakes her head with a vehemence that stuns me.

Pain pierces my forehead looking at her.

“She wants our baby,”Hecrows.

I’m robbed of breath as I look at her in what must be a stunned expression.

“You have plenty of time to think about it,” Lex reassures her in a kindly fashion that is not lost on me.

“I’ll see you out. Be right back,” I tell Taylor disengaging from her. Pressing a kiss on her crown I show Lex out.

“What the fuck are you doing, man?” He rounds on me as soon as he clears the house heading to his G-Wagon.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean?” Replying blandly, I cross my arms over my chest unbothered by the good doctor who has more than a few secrets of his own. Which is why I called him in the first place.

“Her. Neck.” His jaw tics in a way that lets me know he’s seconds from attacking me if I even give hint that I am mistreating Taylor.

“We play. I used a new cuff that wasn’t broken-in well enough. We didn’t realize until afterward,” I tell him my chest tight from the lie and the truth.

“Happens.” He nods in reluctant acknowledgement. “It must’ve been too big as well.” Shaking his head he says, “You’re asking for trouble having your wife be your sub. Lines are too easy to be crossed.”

I can’t argue with the admonishment. “Are you saying you think our activities had anything to do with her miscarrying our baby?” The words stick in my throat in a way I didn’t fully expect as one who’d sworn off children.

“That was until she said she wanted them. You know you can deny her nothing.”Hesnickers.“Little dovewants our little doves.”

I really can’t stand this motherfucker sometimes.

“No. Rough play doesn’t lead to miscarriages, only abuse does,” he assures me. “Breath play from over a week ago by the looks of her neck wouldn’t either.”

Opening his door, he gets in pulling it closed behind him. “Let me know if she changes her mind.”

I watch until he leaves trying to decide how I’m going to tell Taylor I will never give her a child.

All those thoughts fly from me when I see how vulnerable and sad she is when I return.

“Hey, beautiful,” I say, sitting beside her rubbing her back. She looks over her shoulder. “I’m sure I am anything but beautiful right now, Hisashi. Where were you?”

I know she’s not talking about moments ago but the two weeks I disappeared after putting her in the car and instructing the driver to bring her back here.

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