Hampton Plaza was dressed up nicely for the festival. The festival committee—fronted by Emberlynn this year, because of course Emberlynn wasn’t passing up an opportunity to organize a social event—had paid nicely for me to stock the place with baked goods, and they hadn’t pulled any punches with the décor, either. The white lattice was all dressed up with ribbons and netting, flower arrangements along the square and in the field, and I’d arrived to unload the baked goods early, while they were still setting up the decorations.
Emberlynn almost bumped into me, carrying an armload of paper tableware, and she beamed at me through sleep-deprived, dark-ringed eyes.
“Hey,” she said. “Thanks for getting everything in on time.”
“You getanysleep last night?”
“A little,” she laughed, leaning against the buffet table, setting down the stuff she was carrying. She covered up a yawn. “I told myself I’d go to bed no later than ten so I could get upbright and early for this. Good news, I think I got the perfect guitar for the intro. Drum entrance is really on-point too.”
“Bad news is you were up until two doing that.”
She put her hands on her hips. “It was only one-thirty, thank you very much.”
I laughed. “Take it easy today, all right? You’re not the only member of the planning committee.”
“Yeah, I’m lucky Annabel was able to sign up this year…” She waved a hand across the plaza, towards where Annabel and Aria were hanging up a curtain along the edge of the plaza. “She was touch and go until the last minute, but she managed to make it.”
“Think it’s just because she wants to hit on Aria?”
“Probably. But I’ll take what I can get,” Emberlynn said, rubbing her eyes before she caught herself. “Shoot. My eyeliner. Did I smudge it?”
“You’re good,” I laughed. “You actually participating in the festival, or are you going to sleep through it?”
“Um… still up in the air. And you?” She gave me an odd, sidelong smile. “First time in a while you’ll get to attend with someone.”
“I—Emberlynn, I’m not dating anybody.”
“You think I can’t see through Paisley’s whole thing?” she said through another yawn. “Not like she’s being subtle.Stealing my girl.”
“That’s…” I felt my face burn. I hated that it did that. “You know her damn well enough to know she just says things.”
She smiled sadly at me. “You know, if you’re leaving, what does it matter? Might as well enjoy it—that time you have here with her.”
“I…” I looked away with a frustrated sigh. “I’ve got stuff to do.”
“Mm-hm.”
I spoke in a smaller voice, quieter, just a breath. “Look… I don’t want to hurt her. Or myself. There’s no sense just… chasing something that’s about to vanish and breaking our hearts.”
“Trust me,” she said, putting a hand on my arm, “it doesn’t work like that. You have those feelings whether you act on them or not. It’s still going to be heartbreak. You’re just going to regret not doing anything with those feelings.”
I sighed, long and distant, staring out to the field, where Gwen and Kay had shown up now, setting up the sound system. They were an obnoxiously cute couple, Gwen wearing a pantsuit and Kay in a pink minidress, and Kay was practically attached to Gwen’s arm, giggling about something.
It was a universe I never knew, was never allowed to know. Something so far away from me, I could never reach it. I’d tried once, tried with Annabel, and… even though I said it was about her being attracted to other women, I had to admit it had just been an excuse for the real reason.
I could hardly be like that. Just… prance around dating, frivolous, having fun, being together with somebody, when I was… well, when I was Harper. When she’d died for this.
Emberlynn sighed. “You know… I’m going to miss you.”
“Mm. You’ve always been good to me.” I focused on moving things around on the table, adjusting the presentation just so. Just keeping my hands busy. “Giving me a never-ending list of social events to keep me busy.”
“Make sure you visit sometimes, okay? Not that long a flight from NYC to here.”
“I know. I’ll, uh…” I sighed. Emberlynn followed my gaze out to the field, Ms. Connelly adjusting her flower arrangements, Charlie there with her. Girl had taken to Ms. Connelly like the grandmother she never had.
They’d be just fine without me.
“I’ll make sure I swing by,” I lied, my heart not really in it. “Wouldn’t want to miss out on seeing what questionable work situation you’ve gotten yourself into this time, how much Priscilla has gotten on her plate…”