Page 61 of Every Little Thing

“I… guess?” I felt my face burn. “I don’t know. It feels weird.”

“It feels like then it’s too real?”

I paused. “I… yeah, maybe.”

“Like you’ve been experimenting with this thing secretly, in private. You’ve been able to liberate yourself a bit because you feel like you’re in a safe space to experiment. But if somebody else is there… not to mention Kay’s a bit of a blabbermouth.”

“Yeah.” I sank back in the couch, watching out the window as the water rolled in light waves. “Yeah, pretty much. It feels like then I’m supposed to be doing a… um, she said a glow-up, so I’m just running with that. Like I’m supposed to be doing a glow-up, and doing it correctly.”

“You don’t have to go with her to do anything. But if you do, you also don’t have to do it in any kind of way. It should just be fun.”

I shifted closer to her side. Any amount of distance between us suddenly felt like too much, and I just wanted to wrap myself around her and hold her tight, like we could become one. Was that also a sign that I had feelings for her? Who did that, anyway? I wasn’t ready to be such a cliché. “I guess you’re right,” I mumbled. “You’re kind of smart, sometimes.”

“For one who complains about me not giving compliments, you certainly don’t give compliments.”

I buried my face in her shoulder. “You know, I think you’re really beautiful…”

She flinched like I’d thrown something at her. “Hold on. Oh, god. No, I wasn’t asking for compliments.”

I pouted, turning away. “Oh, I see. You don’t like me thinking you’re beautiful. Well, then I’ll just go somewhere else.”

“No—oh my god, Pais, don’t be difficult.” She latched onto my wrist, and it seemed to slow time down, just… sitting there, her hand on my wrist, the ocean rolling out in front of us, me and Harper side-by-side. Slowly, I shifted back against her side, and with my heart pounding in my chest, I let myself rest my head on her shoulder. It just… felt right. Like I just fit perfectly there, slotting in just right.

Harper slipped her hand down until it linked with mine, and somehow or other, our fingers interlaced. How about that?

“You know,” I said, at length, “this is the second bucket with an overnight stay. Is this just a cry for help saying you need more sleep?”

“I didn’t think so, but I wouldn’t be surprised if on some level…”

I sighed, squeezing her hand, pressing myself firmly into her, and I heard myself let out a frustrated grunt. “I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns.”

“Paisley, hating me because I like to sleep.”

“Not that. Just…” I closed my eyes. “I wish you weren’t leaving…”

She drew in a sharp breath, and I knew I was supposed to regret saying it, but what the hell. I never did anything I was supposed to.

Finally, though, she let out a small sigh. “Me too.”

“Then stay.” The words tumbled out of me. She looked away.

“I’m… afraid I have to go.”

“Why? Your career is doing just fine here. The bakery is great. And doing better all the time! You could just start hiring people. That would be a huge step up. I bet—”

“I have to, Paisley. This is the way forward. Forward and up.”

“Why?” I pulled away from her, turning on her with that fire burning inside me, aching with the injustice ofwhyshe couldn’t just stay with me,whyI wasn’t enough. “Is that really the most important thing? Like… just this arbitrary measure ofthe right way to progress?This whole ridiculous status thing? That’s what’s most important? That’s what’s going to make you happy?”

“It’s not about being happy,” she blurted, and I stopped, frowning.

She wouldn’t look at me, her gaze fixed squarely on the floor.

The silence suddenly felt oppressive, just the AC murmuring at the edge of the room, the distant sound of waves lapping past the doors. Slowly, I shifted closer to her. “Then… what in the world is it about?”

She sighed, hard, looking away. “I… I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Harper.” This time it was my turn to latch onto her wrist as she tried to pull away. “Stop running, dammit. Talk to me.”

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