Page 114 of Every Little Thing

“The graphics report—deadline on that’s been pushed back. Client’s in the Bahamas.”

“What, just like that?”

“Apparently someone invited him and he went the next day. Probably bribing him with a ticket. Frankly, I’d take the bribe and be gone the next day too. Anyway, pushed back to the first. Just letting you know so you don’t spend all weekend trying to get it done.”

I still would… I couldn’t let my mind wander for an instant these days. I was hoping it would numb this time faster than ithad when I’d first moved to New York, but… somehow this time was worse.

“Thanks,” I said. “Will do.”

He glanced down at the picture. “Family?”

“Ah…” I looked back at the picture—the one that I decided to torture myself with every day by keeping on my desk. The overlook in front of the Rove estate, with Paisley sitting on the grassy bank, one knee pulled up into her chest, looking out at the horizon with that twinkling joy in her eyes that had inspired me to snap a subtle picture. The sunset haloing off her hair…

I must have looked too wistful, because Solomon faltered. “Er… special somebody?”

I’d never even mentioned I was bisexual. Was it that obvious just from how I looked at it? “She, er… she was.”

He gave me a look of sympathy. I hated it—the last thing I needed right now. “I’m sorry.”

He thought she was dead.Iwas the one who was dead, but I didn’t want to correct him. “Don’t worry about it. Some things are just… you experience it once and that’s all you can get.”

He softened. “She’s very beautiful. I can tell she meant a lot to you.”

“Mm.” I let my gaze drift back to the picture, feeling like my chest was tearing like paper. “Absolute slob. No sense of boundaries. Loved her, though. Well… still do.” I sighed, shutting my laptop and standing up. “Heading out, Sol?”

“Yeah…” The change of tone threw him, but he adjusted. Guy had a good sense for when I didn’t want to talk about something. “Couple of buddies and I are going to a kitschy new club on 55thStreet. Wanna come? Kind of a boys’ club, though, I’ll warn you.”

“Nah. You have your guys’ night. I’ll see you on Monday, Sol.”

“Have a good weekend, Harper.” He turned, his footsteps clicking down the hallway, and I let my gaze go back to the picture, Paisley’s hazel eyes radiant in the sunset.

Why the hell did I keep this thing here, anyway?

I picked it up, and—even though I felt like maybe I should drop it in the trash and let the cleaners take care of getting rid of it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to. I tucked the picture into my bag, my laptop along with it, and I headed out of the room, shutting the door behind me.

Shouldn’t have told Solomon. People didn’t need to know things about me. Maybe now he’d think I was a lesbian and he’d move on from his interest in me, so I guess it wasn’t all bad—anything to make people attach to me less.

How the hell was it so hard? It should have been an easy ask. But I just… some essential part of me reached out. Wanted to be loved. Wanted to love.

I’d been trying to kill that part of me for a decade now. Maybe I didn’t know how. Maybe I just wanted to run home—back to Bayview—back to Paisley.

As if she’d take me back after I broke her heart again, anyway.

Footsteps came quickly behind me as I hit the elevator button, and I glanced back to where Susanna Holcomb came down the hall just in time to catch the elevator, opening in front of us. She smiled at me, looking exhausted.

“Hey, Harper,” she said. “Stayed late?”

Mostly just staring at Paisley’s picture. “Julian in legal was getting antsy. Spent a while chatting with him and letting him know he wasn’t going to lose his head in the new deal.”

She was quiet for a second, settling into the elevator with me and waiting as the doors shut. Once we started moving down towards the lobby, she said, “Harper, where are your sights set?”

“Pardon?”

“That’s not in your job description. You’re taking on a lot of upper executive functions when you haven’t even been here a year.”

I shifted. “Is this an official reprimand?”

“You’re filling two positions at once. I’m not complaining. I’m just wondering… people don’t do that without some bigger career aspirations. So? What are you getting at?”

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