Page 73 of A Hurt So Good

“I know. I’ll do better.”

“Good. Want to go inside?” She nods her head, and we both climb out, heading inside. Denz is sitting on the couch when we walk in, and Sasha goes straight for him. She hugs him, and he wraps his arms around her, hugging her back.

“I’m sorry, Denz.”

“It’s all good, Sasha. It’s all good.” Sasha pulls away, smiling at me, before heading down the hall. I walk over and sit down next to Denz, grabbing his hand in mine.

“She’s a lot like you.”

“An asshole?” he muses, and I laugh.

“No, not an asshole. She loves your mom even though things haven’t been good. Kids were making fun of her, and she stood up for herself.”

“Fuck. I didn’t think that would be the issue,” he says.

“She knows she’s dying, and she needs to make her peace with that. You do, too,” I tell him. He sits back on the couch, looks over at me, and nods.

“There’s like a part of me that knows that and wants to go in there and tell her that I forgive her, but there’s another part that says fuck her, let her ass rot for what she did. She chose fucking alcohol over her kids. It’s fucking selfish.”

“I agree. It is selfish, but that part is in the past now. She’s dying, Denz, and if you don’t make that peace now, you never will.”

“How the fuck did I get someone like you?”

“You’re lucky, that’s how.”

“Yeah. I sure as fuck am.” He leans over and kisses me, and it’s like everything is right in the world. We stay huddled together on the couch, talking and laughing for a long time, when Sasha comes back out.

“I know this is going to sound weird, but would you two come in there with me?” I glance up at Denz, and he nods his head. We both climb off the couch and follow her into the room. I wasn’t really ready to see her like this. I’ve never seen her before today because Denz always kept the door closed.

She’s sick. Dying. Just like they said, she was. She looks terrible, and I can only imagine that it’s from all the alcohol she has consumed in her life.

Sasha sits on the edge of the bed as Denz and

I sit in a chair at the end of the bed.

“They said she can hear us,” Sasha says.

“I’m sure she can,” I add. I didn’t realize it had gotten to this point, that she was no longer responsive. It’s sad. Truly sad.

“Hey, Momma. It’s Sasha. I don’t know what to say to you. The last time we actually talked was two years ago. You told me I looked like my dad and that I was lucky for that.” I fight back my tears as I listen to her talk. This has to be so hard for her.

She talks for a long time before climbing into the bed and lying next to her mom. I watch her as she falls asleep. Denz motions for me to come with him, and I do. I stand, and I head for the door, but before he follows, I hear him say, “I forgive you, Mom.” My heart shatters in my chest for them. This can’t be easy on either of them.

We walk out the front door, and Denz pulls a cigarette out and lights it up. He offers me one, but I shake my head.

“Do you ever smoke?” he asks.

“No. I’ve smoked weed before but never cigarettes.”

“Oh shit. We got us a good girl, huh?” I laugh now as Denz stalks toward me, blowing smoke into the air. “How about I make you dirty?”

“Haven’t you three done that enough?” I question him. He shakes his head, takes another drag, and tosses his cigarette to the ground. Then he’s there, backing me up against the Mustang.

“I haven’t even begun to make you dirty yet,” he tells me. Shivers roll over me, a chill running down my spine. Denz grabs my waist and spins me to face away from him before shoving me down on the hood of the car.

“What are you doing?” I ask him as he lifts my sundress.

“Making you dirty, baby.” Then he pulls my thong down and makes me step out of it.

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